photo credit: adeltoclarencedock

Daily life is tough. Really tough. Sometimes our emotions run so wild that we think we are going to give up. Other times our body is so tired we feel like we need to just collapse right there at work. Modern life seems to be about work, money, stress, depression and not enough sleep. But there is something that can help. There is a simple way to combat stress, create more energy and build a better life. If you feel like you need some extra help dealing with all that is thrown your way then maybe this 5×5 meditation plan is for you.

Why meditation can solve our problems

Before I actually get into the 5×5 plan I want to talk a little bit about why meditation can help to solve our problems. Many of you are probably thinking that meditation is just for hippies who want to sit around all day and do nothing. But that idea couldn’t be further from the truth. Mediation is an ancient art that has been helping people for thousands of years. It is completely supported by science as a means of changing our emotions, habits and even brain structure.

So how can meditation solve our problems? Well as many of you know, the Tibetan word for meditation is gom which can be translated literally as “to familiarize“. Meditation is really about becoming familiar with your mind and making your mind familiar to more favorable states. For example, if your spouse does something to annoy you over and over you will immediately get angry. If they do it again a few weeks later you will get angry again. Your mind has become familiar with anger. But if you use meditation you familiarize yourself with a different state of mind, you might automatically react with patience or understanding and thus avoid the anxiety associated with the anger.

Meditation is also extremely healthy. It causes your brain to release many feel good hormones like cortisol which can actually alleviate depression and other negative frames of mind. So while you are training yourself to become more happy, your brain and body are actually helping you do that on a more physiological level. Some of the other major benefits that you will experience when meditating include:

• becoming less tired
• having more energy
• being happy for no tangible reason
• stress anxiety becomes less and less vicious
• depression arises less often
• an increased level of awareness
• an increased ability to help others
• better ability to deal with difficult circumstances
• an increased immune system and resistance to disease
• a better functioning brain and mind
• increase health (heart, lungs, digestive system, etc.)
• etc

Regular readers will know that I spend a lot of time in the Himalayas with my yogi friends. At one time or another I have seen examples of all of these benefits with my own eyes. Meditation practitioners have an aura of natural happiness, health and energy. Being around them is often infectiously peaceful and can be a very intense learning experience. I have no doubt in my mind that this stuff produces concrete results in a short amount of time.

The 5×5 meditation plan for a better life

photo credit: Stuart Conner

So what is this 5×5 meditation plan? How does it work? It is quite simple really. All you have to do is spend five minutes meditating five times a day. But before you close the window thinking “there is no way I am going to do that” let me explain a little bit about what I mean by “meditating”.

What kind of meditation do you mean?
Most people think that meditation means sitting down with your legs crossed and your hands in a weird gesture. And while that style of meditation is fantastic, it is not really what we are talking about here. The 5×5 plan does not require you to buy a new meditation cushion and sit down for five minutes five times a day. All it is asking is that you stop what you are doing, sit there and look at your mind. You could be on the toilet, sitting in the car about to leave for work, about to go to bed at night, etc. All you have to do is sit there and look directly at your mind for five minutes.

Why five times a day?
As beginners, we need to do short bursts more often. It is only the experts that can sit there for hours at a time doing their practice. It is the same of any discipline. If we were just starting with the guitar we would be better of practicing for short bursts so we don’t cut our fingers or get bored and chuck it in. If we were just starting with jogging or running we need to build up over time so we don’t drop dead of a heart attack! The same is true of meditation. Short bursts of five minutes done five times a day will cause us to make progress extremely quickly without feeling like we are doing a lot of work. In just a few sessions you will feel happier and less stressed.

What exactly do I do?
It is simple. Find a place to sit down. A chair is fine. Now focus on your breath going in and out of your nose for as long as it takes to get settled. It might take you two or three breaths or it might take a lot more. Once you have done that just gently shift your attention to your mind. Watch the thoughts coming and going and dissolving into nothing. Watch your emotions come and go. Don’t engage them. Don’t allow yourself to run away with your thoughts. Don’t play little mental games or carry out mental stories and chatter. Just watch. Observe. Don’t try to change anything. And after five minutes stop.

The routine
Let’s be honest. If you don’t have a routine you are never going to do it. So pick five times a day that will allow you to sit down and do this practice. I think the best times might be:

• before starting work
• after eating your morning tea
• before or after lunch
• after eating your afternoon tea
• before bed

If you try to associate your meals or an event like beginning work with a short meditation practice you will be less likely to forget as it will become part of your daily routine. After just a few sessions you will see some changes in your mind.

Obstacles
Anyone who has done a bit of meditation will tell you that you need to become good friends with obstacles. Meditation is fraught with them. Quite often as you start to become familiar with your mind you will notice a lot of negative emotions and chatter that you didn’t notice before. Many people make the mistake of thinking that meditation is making their mind worse. In actual fact, you are just becoming aware of things that you were too busy to notice before. Just watch them. Don’t let them fool you into playing with them. If you just observe they will vanish of their own accord.

Conclusion

Meditation has changed my life and the lives of many others. Over time it will help you to reduce stress and anxiety as well as teaching you to deal with emotions and difficult times with more strength, resilience and patience. Give it a go but make sure you give it the time it needs. Persevere and don’t give up at the first obstacle that you encounter. Much like breaking the pain barrier when you run, it becomes a lot easier after the first spell.

Please let us know if you have tried meditation and whether or not it has helped you. And if you decide to try the 5×5 meditation plan please stop back often and let us know how your progress is going. Your example might really inspire someone else to give it a go.

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He that is good for making excuses is seldom good for anything else. – Benjamin Franklin

When was the last time you made a resolve to achieve something, set a deadline and then achieved it? Can you even remember the last time? I’m struggling. And the reason I am struggling to remember such a time is because of excuses. I make them for everything; consciously and unconsciously. Without noticing it, excuses have become a habit that I am struggling to shake.

In this post I want to talk about the excuses culture that we have develop within ourselves and why we use excuses to protect ourselves from feelings of failure and fear. Hopefully it will spur some readers out there into action.

Why we make excuses

Photo credit: Franzi in der Wiese

A few years ago I was sitting in the car with a friend of mine having a conversation (argument) about how I always seem to find a way out of things. At the end of the debate he said something that has stayed at the front of my mind, something that I think about whenever I am feeling like making an excuse. He said:

“You have always found things easy. You are good at everything. But you aren’t great at anything because you make excuses. You would rather be the ‘potential’ to be great than actually try and fail. And that is sad.”

He was right. All my life I have been naturally gifted at sport and academics. I didn’t have to work hard to get good. But I never really excelled at anything. I never worked really hard to become great at a certain activity. Why? Because I was afraid of failure. I was afraid of trying and not getting there.

My parents role in this habit
I never blame my parents for anything in my life. I simply do not feel like it is a productive exercise. But I can see how certain things they did impacted the way I turned out. And one of those things was how my mother always told me how amazing I could be. She would constantly tell me how smart I was, how good at soccer I was and how I could become something truly special.

But rather than spurring me on to excellence it seemed to do the opposite. I was comfortable being the potential for greatness. I was afraid to actually give it a shot for fear that I wasn’t actually as smart, talented and athletic as she thought. So I made excuses. Excuses so I wouldn’t have to try.

And we all do it. All the time.

Fear: the reason for most excuses
So why do we make excuses? Why do we find ways to get out of things? Well, for the most part, it is because we are afraid. We are afraid of trying and we are afraid of failing. We are afraid of change and we will do anything to keep the norm functioning. Fear is the reason most of us make excuses.

If you look deep into your own mind and your own behavior you will see that you make excuses to protect your sense of self. We spend our whole lives developing and ego and decorating it with friends and family and money and success and we will do anything to protect our concept of that self. Even if it makes us depressed and unfulfilled. And ultimately that is what excuses do, they make you feel unfulfilled.

How to stop making excuses and move forward

photo credit: Triphamr

People say that the hardest thing you will ever do is quit smoking. But quitting excuses is 10 times harder. Excuses are the reason you started smoking, drinking and eating bad food. You make an excuse not to be healthy and an excuse not to be happy. Breaking the excuse culture is damn hard work. Here are some things you can do.

1. Realize that you do it all the time
As always, you need to take a look at yourself and really truly realize that you make mistakes. Find concrete examples of where you have sabotaged your progress by making an excuse and remember that incident. Bring it to mind whenever you feel like doing it again.

2. Look at your (lack of) progress
Take a look at how much progress you have made with your meditation, athletics, mortgage repayments or family weekend time. See how many excuses you have made and how that has affected your progress is a very real way. Until you can see that it is doing damage you will have no real impetus to stop.

3. Realize that death is coming
People always send me emails saying that I am too depressing when I talk about death. I always reply saying “it is depressing not to talk about it”. For too long our species has made death a taboo subject when, in fact, it is the only thing in life that is certain. Understand that death is coming and that you have no time for excuses. Not any. Its too hot, too cold, too nice inside, I’m too tired, I have a headache… all of those sound like absolute bullshit when you are on your deathbed looking back at what you didn’t achieve.

4. Realize you do it out of fear
If you go up to a fat man in the street and tell him that he is a coward he will probably punch you in the face. Men don’t like to be considered afraid, but that is exactly what we are. We make excuses because we are afraid. Why, then, do we still do it? If someone told us that we were afraid of something else we would do everything in our power to change and prove that we are brave. Do that now with excuses. Prove that you are not afraid of failure, change or losing the norm.

5. Be different in five years time
How different are you now to five years ago? Are you more loving, compassionate, patient, strong, rich, happy, thin, etc.? Take a look at whatever goal you have in your life and see how much closer you are to it now than you were five years ago. If you can say you are happy with your progress then chances are you don’t have a problem with excuses. If you are almost exactly the same then you can bet your right eye on the fact that you are stagnant because you are sabotaging your progress by saying “its too hard” or “its too cold outside”. Be different in five years time and stop making excuses.

Do you make excuses?

I would love to know how many of my readers consider themselves to be excuse makers. What kind of excuses do you come up with and how (if at all) have you dealt with them? Have your excuses held you back from being all that you can be? And how have you felt the weight of this “potential” slowing you down in life? Is it easier to not try?

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