Okay so we know that waking up and doing things in the morning is the best way to achieve our goals in life. We can exercise, study, work, meditate, etc. much better than other times in the day. However, most of us feel pretty crap in the morning.

So what can we do about it? How can we wake up ready for work?

Update: You might want to check out this post that has advice from a Buddhist Yogi about waking up early.

Ways to wake up feeling fresh in the morning

Here are some things you can do in the short term and the long term so that you will wake up fresh and energetic in the morning. I’ve divided them up into three sections; (1) the night before and (2) during the night and (3) the morning.

The Night Before

1. Avoid coffee, red wine and chocolate the night before
To wake up fresh you need to get a good sleep and one of the best ways to ruin a good sleep is to upset your gut. You really need to keep it happy during the night.

Coffee, red wine and chocolate have been scientifically shown to disturb your sleep more than any other food. They upset your intestines in such a way that you will wake up constantly or have a very light sleep that doesn’t re charge you at all. Try not to have these things after lunch time.

2. Go to bed happy with your partner
One of the best ways to get a terrible sleep is to go to bed before you solve a problem with your partner. In my relationship I never let the sun set on an argument, even if I have to compromise a little bit on my own ego.

Before you go to bed make sure your partner is happy (as much as you can) and make sure that you are happy with them. It is also one of the best things you can do for your relationship, let alone your sleep.

3. Meditate, pray and calm down before going to bed
Every night before I go to bed I do about 30 minutes to an hour of meditation. This is amazing as it allows you to throw out all the days worries and forget about the worries of tomorrow. The future cannot be changed while you are asleep and the past is gone so there is no point losing sleep over it! Let it go.

Meditate or pray or do whatever you do. Simply sitting there and watching your breath is a great way to prepare yourself for a nice deep sleep. Check out this post if you want to learn to do a quick little stress relieving meditation.

4. Don’t eat dinner right before bed
A lot of people run home after work, cook up some dinner and then eat it and go to bed. This is a bad idea. The process of digestion takes a while and you do not want to be laying down right after you ate a big meal. Try and leave a few hours in between your bedtime and your dinner and see how you feel the next day.

5. Organize your room according to Feng Shui principles
I know a lot of you probably think that Feng Shui is a load of bull but just give me a second to convince you that it actually has some “western logic” behind it.

For those of you who don’t know Feng Shui is an ancient Chinese art of setting up your home in a way that balances the energies and vibes by putting furniture in certain “hot spots”.

The bedroom is particularly important and I have found that since I arranged my room according to Feng Shui principles I have had a much more “rested” sleep. In particular the placement of your bed is important. Feng Shui tells us that you should sleep where you can see the door but not be in he direct path of the door opening. This helps us sleep with a sense of security. I can see the practical reason for this. You can get some more bedroom Feng Shui tips here.

6. Go to the toilet
Even if you do not need to go to the toilet before bed you should still have a go and squeeze out whatever you can. The reason for this is that the kidneys will continue to work during the night and by the morning your bladder will be nice and full. If your bladder fills up early you might feel the need to go during the night and this cuts out valuable time from your sleep.

You might think that sleeping is about the total time spent asleep but this is incorrect. It is important to stay asleep without breaking it because it takes some hours to get into the “zone” where you are truly at rest. A toilet break interrupts this zone.

During the Night

7. Not too hot, not too cold
Another sleep related tip: your sleep is greatly affected by the how hot or cold you are during the night. It is important to get a good balance as this keep your energies calm and stops them from spiking.

Try and find a balance between clothes and bed covers. For example, I like to sleep without any clothes but with a heavy blanket. This keeps my temperature pretty consistent.

8. Keep the window open
One of the best things you can do for your health in general and your sleep in specific is to keep your window slightly open during the night. This has two benefits.

photo credit: volvidejapon

Firstly, the gap in the window will allow poisonous carbon dioxide to float away. The reason the human body breathes out is because carbon dioxide is poisonous. And during the night you take a heck of a lot of breaths and your room fills up with this gas. Let it out the window.

The second reason is that you need to allow new oxygen to float in. This might also help you regulate the temperature of the room.

9. Keep your sleep consistent
People think that you MUST have eight hours sleep to get enough.

Not true.

It is more important to go to bed at the same time and wake up at the same time everyday. Not everyone needs eight hours. In fact, if I get eight hours sleep I usually feel tired and groggy for the entire day. Six to seven hours is about right for me.

Start by setting your bedtime at the same time each night. Forget what is on the television and just go to bed at say 11pm each night. After a while start setting your alarm for the same time each day; even on weekends. If you don’t start waking up fresher and happier each morning I will write you a personal apology.

10. Cut out noise, it’s actually killing you!
I recently read in New Scientist Magazine that your life is actually being shortened by noise during the night. Yep, that’s right… that screaming police car or roaring traffic is actually killing you! The magazine said that the noise has an effect on your heart and waking up many times during the night puts your body under a lot of stress.

Try and keep your room quiet by wearing some earplugs. You can get earplugs that only cancel out certain sounds so that you can still hear your alarm or a baby monitor on your bedside table.

The Morning

11. Drink a glass of water
A cool glass of water on an empty stomach actually has a lot of health benefits as well as serving to wake you up. The water will kick start your metabolism and as such you will wake up faster and feel more alert.

12. Exercise
When you are groggy in the morning and nice run in the fresh air can wake you up fast. However, the interesting thing is that when you exercise in the morning you will actually have more energy the NEXT day. The more you exercise the more energy you will have as you become fitter and healthier.

If you need some tips to get up and exercise early check out this post on early morning exercise hacks.

13. Don’t drink coffee… everyday
Science is now showing that our body becomes accustomed to the caffeine in our coffee and we have less of a reaction to it. This means that your daily cup of coffee is waking you up less and less every day that you drink it.

A better idea is to save the morning coffee for when you are really tired and need a little bit of help. Perhaps if you had to stay out late or get up extra early and you have disturbed your regular sleeping habit. This is the time to have a cup of coffee.

14. Breathe deeply
The first thing you should do in the morning is take some deep breaths into your stomach and concentrate on waking up. Imagine breathing in a bright white light that makes your body feel happy and light.

15. Have something to be excited about
If you get up and go to a job you hate to work with a boss that drives you crazy you are not going to really enjoy waking up. However, if you have something you enjoy to go to you will be more likely to wake up happy knowing you have a bit of joy coming your way.

If you can’t leave your terrible boss then you should make time in the morning to do some sport or activity that makes you happy. Start your day with something happy and fun as opposed to starting it with work.

16. Get up straight away
When I was in the Himalayas a buddhist master told me that one of the best things you can do to wake up early and feel alert and fresh is to get up straight away. As soon as your alarm goes off you should get up without snoozing it over and over again.

He said to me half jokingly: “You have to get up before your self cherishing does”.

17. Be grateful for not dying
The Buddha said that every time you go to bed you should consider that you won’t wake up. That way, when you wake up you will be especially grateful for the day you have ahead of you. Instead of seeing the day as a burden that you have to “get through” you will see it as an opportunity to do something meaningful and beneficial.

Why? Because you could die tonight.

When applied correctly this realization will bring you tremendous energy.

Conclusion on waking up freshly

Each of these tips works. I have tried it on myself and my friends. And the great thing is that the more of these tips you apply the fresher you will feel when you wake up. Try them yourself.

Do you have any other to add? I’d love to hear them!

Top photo: photoeyeliam

**Top 10 Daily Mind post.**

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Note: This is a guest post from Lisah of Getting to Zen

What does it mean to live a healthy lifestyle? It is a way of living that allows you to enjoy more aspects of your life in a more fulfilling way. It is not just about trying to avoid one illness after another, or trying to just not feel as bad as you normally do. It is about feeling and being well physically, mentally and socially. It is about making specific choices that give you the opportunity to feel your best for as long as you can. Living a healthy lifestyle is about saying YES to life.

Three Essential Ways to Live Healthy

Do you want to have a body that can support you well into your old age? Do you wish to have mental clarity, quality relationships, good working internal functions, or even an overall feeling of well being? Well, living a healthy lifestyle is what can get you there, or at least improve your condition. There are three specific things that you should do:

1. Exercise

You shouldn’t be surprised that this one is on the list. It is unavoidable. Physical activity is essential to healthy living. The body was meant to move, and when it does not, it can become unhappy and ill. Physical activity stimulates the body’s natural maintenance and repair systems that keep it going. It improves circulation to our heart and lungs. It gives us strength to stave off injuries, and it increases the mobility in our muscles and joints. Physical activity also releases endorphins; the feel good hormones that create a sense of general well being. Physical activity is good for the body and the mind.

Exercises include brisk walking, cycling, dancing, swimming, rowing, elliptical workouts and jogging. Yoga, and pilates are also good exercise workouts; however, they should be performed in conjunction with the cardiovascular-type workouts mentioned above.

2. Eating healthy

Have you ever heard of the saying “you are what you eat” or “garbage in garbage out”? Well, it is true. What you put into your body directly affects how you feel physically, your mood, your mental clarity, your internal workings, and even your skin. Eating healthy does not mean eating expensive foods with little taste. As a matter of fact, there are some fantastic health recipes online and in cookbooks that are very healthy. Basically, you want to aim for a diet that is low in salt, fat and unprocessed foods and is high in fruits, vegetables, whole grains and omega-3 fatty acids. It is also good to take a multi vitamin to ensure you are meeting your nutrient requirements.

3. Reduce stress

We have got to get rid of all of this stress. Stress happens when your life becomes out of balance physically, mentally or emotionally. This imbalance can be caused by internal stress like worrying too much, environmental stress like pressure from work, family or friends, or by stress from being fatigued or overworked. Being stressed out has the potential to affect your health in a variety of ways. You can become tired, sick, tense, irritable, and unable to think clearly. If you want to live a healthy lifestyle, you will need to manage the stress in your life so that it does not overtake you. This means taking charge of your thoughts, emotions, tasks, and environment to get your body back in balance.

Action Items

Here are some specific action items for living a healthy lifestyle:

1. Use the food pyramid as a guide to how much of what to eat
2. Eat less processed foods
3. Reduce your sugar intake
4. Grill, boil, or bake foods rather than frying them
5. Reduce the amount of meat you eat
6. Eat a lot of fresh locally produced vegetables and fruits
7. Avoid adding salt to your meals after they have been cooked
8. Regulate your portion sizes (a portion is about the size of your fist)
9. Reduce your alcohol consumption
10. Reduce caffeine consumption
11. Don’t eat foods that have a lifetime warranty (unless we have some sort of disaster and you have been storing them in your basement for just that case)
12. Stop smoking
13. Laugh a lot
14. Exercise at a moderate intensity, for at least a half an hour three to five times per week.
15. Find ways to eliminate stress (meditate, exercise, guided imagery, music)
16. Give to others with no strings attached
17. Smile at strangers
18. Learn to say no
19. Avoid people who put their stress on you
20. Take control of your life
21. Always say please and thank you

Lisah is a technical writer living in Phoenixville, Pennsylvania. She enjoys long distance running, cooking, sewing and blogging. Lisah’s blog, Getting to Zen, includes articles on personal development, enlightenment, consciousness and awareness. Stop by for a visit.

Photo by Abdullah AL-Naser

photo credit: gorgeouxness

“Old age is the most unexpected of all the things that can happen to a man.” – Trotsky

It is said that although death is certain, the time of death is most uncertain. Wise people have been trying to teach us this for thousands of years. Long life is considered by many to be the most precious gift that one can be given for it is rare and valuable; an unlikely chance to experience more, contribute to society and redeem our faults.

And although we will never be able to permanently cheat death, modern science is now showing us dozens of ways to add years to our life. In this post I want to show you some interesting things I have found about how to add at least ten years to your life, broken down into a list of do’s and don’ts.

Why live longer?

While researching this post I have come across and interesting perspective – why would I want to live a long life? Why would I want to grow old and lose my mobility, friends and perhaps sanity? Wouldn’t it be better to pass away younger whilst still relatively healthy and independent?

From one point of view I guess this attitude is right. I can understand why people would be afraid of living to an old age if old age meant only a degradation in the quality of their own life. But, from another perspective I think old age is quite a wonderful thing. Time is so limited and fleeting, any extra amount I am given to accomplish my goals would be most welcome.

A different focus
The key thing here, I think, is that your focus must be on charity, contribution, service, others. If you are just trying to live a long life because you are afraid of death or because you don’t want to leave your nice house then the whole idea seems silly. But if you want to live a long life in order to help others, then you are on a very different track.

The list of people who continued to help others right into their twilight years is long and includes wonderful names like:

• Shakyamuni Buddha (81 years)
• Mother Teresa (87 years)
• Gandhi (78 years)
• Benjamin Franklin (84 years)

Adding ten years to your life would be a wonderful achievement if it meant you could spend more time working to benefit others, helping your family and friends and contributing to your community and society. Unfortunately, however, there is no way we can add so many years to our life that death is averted. We must always try to remember that.

How to add 10 years to your life – the do’s and don’ts

photo credit: Ka-ho Pang

I have done my best to include as much “further reading” materials in the following tips so that you can go on and read more about the subject, the studies, etc. If I have missed any or you have any further information please leave a comment. It might really help someone.

DO – Meditate
Modern science is now beginning to study the effects of meditation on longevity with some very promising results. In India I had often heard stories of monks and nuns who lived to an extremely old age and I often wondered whether this had something to do with their dedicated meditation practice. Dr. Robert Keith Wallace is a pioneer in this field and published a study in the Journal of Neuroscience which showed that those who practiced meditation for just a five year period had a biological age somewhat 12 years less than their chronological age.

So why does meditation increase your lifespan? Lots of reasons. The main three, however, relate to its ability to deal with stress, longevity and immunity hormones. Dr. Vincent Giampapa has done studies that show how massively these hormones are affected by some simple meditation practice.

Many of these studies have shown that you just need to take a few minutes each day to sit down, relax and focus on your breathing. Calm your mind down and focus on the breath coming in and out of your nose and there is a good chance you will avoid certain illnesses. Scientific proof that the mind can affect the body in a big way.

DON’T – Stress
More than ever before we have concrete evidence that stress can kill you. Sure, it won’t kill you right away but it will lead to things like heart disease and perhaps even cancer. Robert Sapolsky has spent more than 30 years studying the effects of stress. In an interview with Stanford Report he mentions that stress is designed to keep us alive by helping us run away from predators or fight off enemies, and it does this extremely well by releasing certain hormones. But nowadays those same hormones are being released when we worry about money or our next bill. And overtime this has devastating effects on the body.

Stress is also dangerous because it can lead to other life-shortening practices like smoking or binge drinking. When you feel stressed at work you often come home to a junk food meal and some beer to make you feel better. And this makes you sick.

If you want to add 10 years to your life you need to learn how to deal with stress. It is important to realize that you will never be able to eliminate all the causes of stress in your life; the bills will keep coming. The goal is to develop some techniques to deal with those life events.

DO – Drink Green Tea
Green tea has been drunk in China and other regions of Asia for thousands of years. It has formed an integral part of their medical system and has long been known as a substance that can have very positive effects on the body. And now western medical science is backing up those claims with various studies that point to the health benefits of green tea. The study in the previous link surveyed 40,000 people over a ten year period and found that drinking green tea made you less likely to die of cardiovascular disease. And considering that heart disease is the leading cause of death in the western world, it might mean that green tea can significantly increase your life span.

photo credit: code_martial

When drinking green tea it is important to buy it from an ethical producer who is located in a non-polluted region. There is some evidence that suggests that toxins in the air and soil can be absorbed into the tea plant and passed along to your body. It is also very important to drink tea without any milk as a protein in the milk can damage some of the beneficial enzymes in the tea. Tea also has the dual effect of calming you down which can definitely reduce your stress levels.

DON’T – Stay up late
I have written about sleep a lot of times on this blog; how to wake up fresh, how to get to sleep, why staying up late is bad for you, etc. I have always felt the effects of a bad night’s sleep on my own body and mind but the more I look in to the matter, the more I realize that science is discovering the same thing. Late nights and erratic sleep are now understood to be contributing causes to conditions like obesity, diabetes, heart disease and cancer.

The interesting thing about sleep is that no one knows why we do it. But we know that we need it. Since the beginning of our species the body has forced us into shutting down each night for around six to 12 hours. And now that we have the internet, busy careers and, of course, the TV, we are all getting a lot less sleep. And this is worrying a lot of experts.

If you want to live an extra ten years it is important that you have good sleep habits. Try to make sure you go to bed and wake up at the same time each evening and morning, don’t drink things like red wine and coffee before bed which cause you to have poor sleep, and make sure you are getting enough hours. The ironic thing about all of this, however, is that you will probably spend an extra ten years asleep!

DO – Exercise every day
This is nothing new. Exercise has long been known to have benefits like weight loss, increased cardiovascular health and an increased level of emotional well being. But what is just coming out now is how much exercise you need to achieve these benefits. And it is bad news for sweat haters. You need exercise every day. One recent study went so far as to say that you will not lose weight in the long term unless you exercise an hour every single day. That is a lot.

photo credit: David Clow – Maryland

The good news is that there are so many different types of exercise you will never feel bored. Exercise doesn’t have to be running or lifting weights. It could be yoga, pilates, dance classes, tai chi or kick boxing. It is important to choose a variety of different disciplines so that you do not get sick of one thing and give up on exercise altogether. One way you can do this is find a buddy that will share your passion and dedication. Go to classes together, wake each other up at 6:30am to go for a run, have fun together. This is an easy way to add years to your life.

DON’T – Eat Meat
This is likely to be a very controversial heading as the western world is so obsessed with eating meat. We have commercials on television telling us to eat more red meat for its iron and vitamins and we have Government sponsored cookbooks telling us that lots of meat is healthy. But, as happened in Australia a few years ago, it turned out that the cookbooks were paid for by the meat industry. Often times the advice telling us to eat meat has an ulterior motive.

There are now lots of studies that show that vegetarianism is linked with a longer life. In fact, this one tells us that if you eat a vegetarian diet for over 20 years you are likely to add four whole years to your life. It is interesting to note, however, that the scientists don’t really know why a low meat diet increases our lifespan. Is it because fruit and vegetables are so healthy, because meat is unhealthy or because being a vegetarian might also indicate other lifestyle choices? They just don’t know.

Eating less meat is a way to live longer but it is also a good idea for other reason. Two of the big ones include ethics and environmental protection. The meat industry is extremely cruel to animals at every stage of their life. The living conditions are often torturous and the culling and transport stages (especially if live export) are unacceptable. In a day an age where we have scientific and documentary evidence that animals feel pain, emotions and desire happiness, it is entirely baffling that we continue to treat them with such cruelty when using them for food.

I have been trying for a long time to be vegetarian and keep failing miserably so I definitely don’t deserve this soap box. But I have got my meat eating down to around once or twice a week with a view to, one day, have totally kicked the habit. If you love a good steak or a cheeseburger perhaps try limiting it to weekends and see how you go?

Conclusion

These few simple do’s and don’ts are enough to add ten years on to your life if you do them consistently and with dedication. But it doesn’t need to stop there – you can stop smoking and, just by that fact, you will increase your life expectancy. Remember, living a long time is something we should aim for but not expect. It is important to use what little time we have on this planet to help others and bring about positive changes in lives of those around you. Otherwise you might spend 90 years not doing much at all.

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Note: This is a guest post from Jarrod Clark of Optimistic Journey

Do you procrastinate when it comes to a new workout regimen? Starting a new workout routine can be an overwhelming thing if you don’t have the right mind-set, or if you haven’t mapped out a plan for your routine.

If you’re overwhelmed by the whole process of starting out, I’ve devised a list of 8 ways to get started on a workout regiment and obtain the body that you’ve wanted and become a healthy individual. Hopefully this will be a catalyst and give you hope and inspiration to take the first step.

1. Just Do It! - Okay, I know what you’re thinking, easier said than done right? People who have had success in the area of physical fitness, are no different than you. They’ve just taken the first step and kept at it. It all comes down to your will power, put one foot in front of the other.

For years, I’ve been putting off going to school. It wasn’t until one day last year I picked up the phone and made that call to a local college. While I was making the call I’ll never forget thinking, “What in the world are you doing?” Well, to keep a long story short, guess what?! I’m still in school getting my education and haven’t once considered quitting until I graduate.

What am I saying? Call your local gym and sign up. Before you know it, you’ll overcome the worst hurdle to getting in shape, which is starting.

2. Work Out at Home - For those of you who are parents or have hectic schedules, and have only a small window of time to spare a day, there are so many tools available that makes it easy to work out at home.

This recommendation may not be for everyone but for those who are willing to do so, invest in home equipment such as home gyms, treadmills, stationary bikes, etc. This frees you from having to go to the gym to work out. For some people the one thing that closes the deal in starting a workout program is the travel distance to the gym.

3. Youtube - If you are into aerobic exercise, there are many avenues that teach aerobic exercise.Visit Youtube and type in aerobic exercise at home into the search field and explore the tutorials available. You will be surprised at how easy it is to simply burn calories at home. Many of these exercises are exercises that only take 15-30 minutes a day to complete.

4. Gadgets – I’m always in the sports/fitness section at Walmart and I’m amazed at the number of tools and gadgets available that lend themselves to helping people get in shape on their own terms at home. As an alternative to the more expensive treadmills and home gyms, as mentioned above, many of these gadgets are much cheaper and come with tutorial videos ready to get you started on your road to success.

5. Perfect Pushup - A few months ago I invested in Perfect Pushup, which I purchased from Walmart. Perfect Pushups is an apparatus that was invented by a former Navy Seal who discovered how to do pushups in a way that engages more than just your pectoral muscles. It engages a larger portion of your upper body.

6. Resistance Bands - You will be surprised with the type of workout you can get with resistance bands. The good thing about resistance bands is that you can get a full body workout from them and they are a great alternative to going to the gym or using bulky home gyms. Go to Youtube and key in exercises for resistance bands and your search will return a large number of tutorials for you to get a full body workout with resistance bands.

7. Can-Do Mindset - I believe your mindset has a lot to do with whether you are successful or not. I’ve heard people say that they want to get fit, but they’re not willing to workout. They say, “Oh, I hate working out. It’s just not for me.”

When you think thoughts that contradict your goals, you’re basically speaking death into your goal. Have an open mind. Develop a Can-Do attitude.

8. Stick With It - Naturally, we want to see results overnight. That’s just the nature of human being. When working out, our inspiration comes from seeing results. When we see results that we like we will work harder so that we can see more results.

However, when we don’t see the results we want when we want them, we start to make excuses of why we should put it off for a while. Then a while becomes and even longer while and before we know it, we’ve given up on our goal of getting in shape. Instead of making excuses and getting discouraged, keep at. Stay motivated and you will see the change you want to see.

In conclusion, set small goals and stick with them. Many times when working out we’re looking at the big picture, which is okay to do but I believe you will overwhelm yourself and set your expectations too high, too soon.

When you set small goals, it’s like learning how to drive in a small car rather than learning in an eighteen wheeler. Set small goals that are obtainable and stay motivated and you will see the results you want to see in no time.

Jarrod Clark is an up and coming blogger in the field of personal developement at OptimisticJourney.com. There you will find Inspirational Messages that will keep you motivated through life’s adversities. He updates regularly with 5-6 articles per week. Check me out at http://www.OptimisticJourney.com

Photo by lululemon athletica

photo credit: Brian Vallelunga

“May the pain of every living creature be completely cleared away. May I be the doctor and the medicine and may I be the nurse for all sick beings in the world until everyone is healed.” – Shantideva

According to the Buddha there are four inevitable stages in our life: birth, old age, death and sickness. We will all get an illness at some point in our lives. Some will only suffer a bad flu whilst others will have to stand face to face with a serious disease like cancer or HIV. A few years ago my closest high school buddy got diagnosed with a rare and aggressive form of cancer and during that painful and testing time I went to the ancient texts of India and Tibet for some sort of philosophical help about dealing with an illness. Since that time we have also talked a lot about the illness and a lot about what got him through it. Today I would like to share some of those techniques with you and your family members.

With a few minor adjustments you can turn the experience of being sick into something positive where you grow into a braver and stronger person. Illness is one of the only times in life where you get to truly discover your potential. Without this attitude the whole debacle is just a waste of time.

BE INTERACTIVE – If you have any other methods that I have not mentioned please leave a comment as it might really help someone. Similarly, if you or someone you love is sick and you need a friend to talk to I will always answer your comments. We also have a lot of caring, knowledgeable and loving readers who will do the same.

How to cope with a serious illness or disease

photo credit: [expletive deleted]

Although I myself have never been seriously ill, it seems as though a lot of the people around me have. I hope that some of these techniques benefit any sick people out there, either directly by reading it or by a loved one passing it on. Most of the techniques I discuss in this article come from a Eastern Philosophical background and as such they might contain some foreign concepts. That’s okay. Sometimes you need something a little different to get you through.

1. Accept that you are now sick
Quite often the first thing you notice about someone who has a serious disease is how they go about their life as if nothing is going wrong. It is obviously a coping mechanism, but it can often lead to some very painful times as the truth begins to set in as symptoms and pain begin to get worse. If you have just been given some bad news from your doctor it is important to accept it right away. This does not mean getting all glum and depressed, it just means that you are in touch with reality. If you do not accept the truth you will not be able to develop any further coping mechanisms, and that is why I have put this as the first point.

2. Know that you are not alone
When you get told that you are sick it is easy to feel all alone. Especially at night time. When I had a few months of serious depression in my early 20’s I always noticed that night time was the worst. And others have said the same. Everything is quiet, dark and you feel like the only one awake. But you aren’t. At any one point in time there are thousands of people around the world who know exactly how you feel. And although you might never meet them in this life, there is some sense of strength that comes from realizing that they are out there.

On a more intimate level it is important to realize that your friends and family will be there for you whenever you need. It doesn’t matter what time, day or night, if you need them there by your side do not be afraid to call them or shoot off an sms. They will be glad that you did. They will not feel inconvenienced. They will actually be delighted that they can help in some small way, finally vanquishing that terrible feeling of helplessness.

On a more superficial level you should know that The Daily Mind will always be here. I will always answer comments. It might take me a few hours to see it but I always get them in the end and I will do my absolute best to help you though whatever situation you are in. Please note that I am not a psychologist or a counseling professional, just a boring old philosophy nut who has had some life experience. So there you have it, you are not alone.

3. Develop some gratitude by using compassion
Let me be very clear with you. The strongest and most powerful positive emotion that a human can feel is compassion. The wish for another human being to be free from suffering. It is why our mothers took such good care of us and it is why strangers in the street will risk their lives to help a person in a mugging or a fire. Compassion is going to be your greatest tool in this time of illness. Why? Because it is going to teach you that things could be worse. And developing some gratitude will help to calm your mind and allow more room for positive change.

photo credit: Board Shanty

Let’s think up an example. Say you have just been diagnosed with cancer. You are scared, stressed and perhaps a little bit angry. You start focusing in on the sense of self so tightly that no body else matters. But this makes things worse. Everything anyone says to you is like sandpaper grating on your skin. You become more sensitive and less able to deal with bad news or pain. But shift your focus for a second. Think about all the others out there who have it worse than you.

Even if you are dying of cancer you can still be grateful that you have your family by your side or pain managing medication. A lot of people don’t. Think about the other people out there in worse scenarios than you and feel thankful that this is all you have to deal with. It will give you a lot of energy.

4. Use an ancient meditation technique to forget about your own self concern
All of the Buddhist texts agree on one thing when it comes to sickness: you must engage in the meditation practice called Tonglen. Tonglen is Tibetan for “giving and taking” and is an ancient Buddhist practice that originated with the Indian Buddhist Master called Atisha Dipankara Shrijnana, born in 982 CE. The meditation is easy to do and bears results after only a few sessions. His Holiness the Dalai Lama has said that he does Tonglen every day. So how do you do it?

Find a comfortable seat and sit in the correct meditation posture if you have the energy. Now shift your attention to your breath; the breath is the “vehicle” on which this meditation is based. Now do the following on each breath:

• Inhale
  Imagine all the suffering and illness of all other sentient beings is coming into you in the form of black smoke. It completely takes away everyone’s pain, agony and disease and is destroyed in your lungs. Focus on the intense feeling of compassion, the idea that you are willing to take on other people’s suffering.
• Exhale
  Imagine your exhalation is white light that sends out all your happiness, health and peace of mind to all the sick and dying people around the world. Imagine that that are actually sustained by this exhalation and immediately feel better and more content. Focus on the feelings of love, the idea that you are willing to give all your happiness and health to help your fellow human being.

The first question that new meditation students inevitably ask is, “Will taking on other people’s suffering make me sicker?” The answer is always a definite “NO“. In fact, many yogis in Tibet often found that this practice gave them a new lease on life; more energy and often times helped them overcome some illnesses. There is no correlation between meditation and getting sicker, only the opposite is true. The goal of Tonglen is to shift your focus away from your own self importance and teach you to value others more. Dealing with pain becomes quite easy when you are an expert at this meditation (or so I am told).

photo credit: C-Ali

5. Become acquainted with the Buddhist concept of purification
There are many prayers in Tibetan Buddhism that say that “sickness is good, health is bad“. At first this seems like absolute nonsense but then you read on and it continues that “sickness helps me purify my negative ways, happiness just makes me lazy“. All of a sudden we see that initial comment in the context of mind training and now you have quite a powerful new teaching.

Being a good person is easy when the belly is full. Thinking about love and patience is easy when you are having a wonderful day. But the real test of character comes when you are sick and suffering. How loving are you then? How much patience do you now have? Not a lot. But illness and disease presents us with a unique opportunity to purify our old ways and develop a new way of thinking. It is a situation of great hope and possibility.

Buddhists actually believe that sickness is good because it is purifying bad karma that might have otherwise ripened in a much more serious situation. Imagine you spent five years smoking and got lung cancer. You beat that cancer, quit smoking and approach life with a new sense of vigor and awareness. If you didn’t get sick that would never have happened. In fact, you might have kept smoking and ended up with a much more serious case of cancer. The sickness purified that negative karma.

I am not asking you to accept this idea straight away. In fact, I don’t care if you never accept it. But when you are sick it is important to open your mind to new ideas. Make it pliable. Imagine that your current sickness if purifying your past karma so that you can move on as a brand new person without anything holding you back. Doesn’t that seem like a nice way to view the disease? Its helping you.

6. Find a role model to emulate
The last technique I want to talk about is one that is that of using a role model to give you strength. It is an extremely potent way to give yourself a renewed sense of purpose and power. And it is very easy to do.

When I am feeling sick and sorry for myself I imagine the great yogi Milarepa who endured so many hardships for the benefit of others. He did not let a little cold or flu stop him. He meditated alone in caves with no food or drink for months at a time, sustaining himself only on nettles. He was so determined to reach his goal that he continued working even when he was sick.

Find someone strong and empowering. It might be a religious figure like Jesus or Buddha or someone else that you admire. Think about them when you are feeling down and ask yourself what they might do if they were in your situation. Over time you will find that you take on their strength much like a child copies his mother or father when approaching a new situation.

Conclusion

Getting a serious illness or disease can be the most trying time of your life. But you have a choice. You have an opportunity to use this situation to become a better person, or you can let it depress you. My sincere advice is to start thinking about compassion as much as you can. Become friends with the illness and see it as a positive time in your life, your rare opportunity for growth.

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photo credit: Schantzilla

“A clear understanding of negative emotions dismisses them.” – Vernon Howard

Stress, depression, panic attacks and anxiety. The modern world is overflowing with emotional problems of all different kinds. And chances are you or someone you know has suffered from some form of emotionally unhealthy state. So how can we avoid these problems? Are there things we can do to prevent them coming about?

In this post I am going to present the lifetime guide to staying emotionally healthy. I hope it helps someone out there.

What is emotional health?

Before I present any ideas about emotional health I need to define it. Without a solid idea we really won’t know what were talking about and we will get lost.

Emotional health is not a single state of mind like “pleasure” or “joy” but an ongoing process. Emotional health is a conversation, a journey and above all it is work. It will change and you will go up and down. Even the most emotionally healthy person will have bad days. But those bad days are all part of the process, and they’re aware of it.

Emotional health is all about gathering new tools and methods to constantly better your mind. It is flux.

To be emotionally healthy you need to spend a lot of time being open and learning. As soon as you close your mind to new ideas or information you cut yourself off from the possibility of being healthy. This post could perhaps serve as a starting point. It is by no means the end point. Read, research, study and practice. And never give up, because emotional health is an ongoing process.

Why is emotional health so important?

photo credit: RSNY

I have always found it extremely interesting that today’s society will place a massive emphasis on physical well being but almost nothing is done about the mental state. Unless you are suffering from serious depression or some other mental illness, you don’t hear anything about “working on your mind” or “developing emotional health”. And this is quite troubling.

Imagine how happy we could be if we spent as much time working with our emotions as we did running on the treadmill or cooking a healthy dinner. Imagine how different the world would be if there was less anger and more compassion. I think it would be a very different place.

What I am going to show you in this post, however, is that you don’t need to necessarily sit on a cushion or take separate time out to become emotionally healthy. In fact, going to the gym and cooking a nice meal is a big part of emotional health. Stick around and see if you learn something new and, as always, leave a comment if I have forgotten anything.

The lifetime guide to staying emotionally healthy

photo credit: fairlybuoyant

Now for the main bulk of the post. Here I am going to present some ideas that you can use work with your emotions in order to become more emotionally healthy. Remember, this is a long term project that you will have to stick at for the rest of your life. You will, however, start to see results right away.

1. Understand you are in control of your emotions
The very first step you need to take on this journey is to realize that you are in control of your emotions. This fact is lost on the modern world; many of us become slaves to anger and depression and stress. But when you turn that around and start to understand that you are the boss of what goes on in your head, you are suddenly left with a very workable situation. Without this understanding, however, no progress can be made.

2. Become familiar with your mind through meditation
Once you have conviction that you are in control of your emotions, you need to become familiar with them through meditation. Now, meditation does not mean sitting on a cushion saying “OOMMM” over and over. Sure it can be that, but it is not only that. The way to meditate is to constantly bring your attention to your thoughts and just let your mind relax in that.

The Tibetan word for meditation is “gom” which means “to familiarize”. This gives us a great insight into what meditation is supposed to be. It is not about relaxing so much as it is about familiarizing ourselves with positive states of mind. Compassion, love, patience, silence. And the very interesting thing about meditation is that these states of mind arise naturally when you just start to look at your mind.

How does this work? Simple. According to Buddhism the nature of every being is compassionate. We are not inherently evil and we are not naturally sinners. Naturally we are compassionate but we have lost connection with that innate part of our being. But looking at the mind re-connects us with that state because we all of a sudden get in control of our minds. And when we get in control of our minds the first thing we feel is sadness for all those people out there who are still struggling. It is an intensely powerful moment in your life.

If you want to learn more about meditation you can check back on some of my other articles:

• Loneliness vs aloneness: lessons from a solitary mountain retreat
• A look into the psychology of meditation

One of the best things you can do for yourself if you want to become happy and proficient in controlling your mind is learn from someone who has already done it. There are so many wonderful meditation teachers in our world, I encourage you to connect with one. And that leads us to our next point.

3. Connect with good people and avoid bad company
A few weeks ago I wrote an article about avoiding bad company which ruffled up some feathers. A got a few emails that day saying that I was a disloyal friend and that you should stick by your mates even if they are bad for you. Okay, fine. I agree. You should stick by your bad mates if you are able to do so without them being a negative influence on you. But when you see yourself in a downward spiral it is time to leave them alone.

Surrounding yourself with good company is one of the most important life lessons a person can learn. Once a dear friend of mine told me that you will become the average of your five closest friends so make sure you choose wisely. I did. I chose people who were happy, successful and who worked for the betterment of others. I very rarely spend time with people who are selfish, hateful and bigoted. The Buddha once said:

“Put a rose in a sack of fish and soon the rose starts to stink too.”

Now there is no problem visiting people with the motivation of helping them or cheering them up. That is a wonderful thing to do. But if you are best friends with a drug addict racist who starts to rub off on you then you are in for problems. If you want to be emotionally healthy you need to surround yourself with people who are living a life you wish to emulate. Let them rub off on you.

4. Practice ethical behavior to avoid depression, anxiety and fear
Once you have become familiar with your mind and have made a commitment to stay emotionally healthy it is important to live an ethical life. Without a solid basis of ethical behavior there is no chance for long term happiness. So why are ethics so important? Let’s take a look.

photo credit: Daniel Greene

The first thing you will notice about an unethical or mean person is that they have very few true friends. They may have followers or people around them who latch on out of fear, but they have no trusted confidants. And that is a very lonely place to be. In fact, it is a situation that will eventually drive you crazy.

It is also important to realize that negative acts come back to you. If you spend your life stealing or cheating on your girlfriends the chances are your reputation will come back to haunt you. And I am not just talking about other people being mad at you. Soon you will begin to feel guilty. Imagine living your whole life hurting others and to be in the last stages of your life and feel intense regret. It would be an emotion so crippling that you would struggle to cope. Life your life without regrets.

5. Read the masters and scholars of the past
Will Smith is a Hollywood star that many people admire for his staunch opposition to gangster rap that denigrates women and encourages violence and his lifetime pursuit of being a “nice guy”. A few years ago I saw a video of Will Smith speaking to thousands of kids at a Nickelodeon Kids Choice Awards ceremony. What he said really knocked my socks off.

The human race has an amazing history full of struggles and hardships. But out of those hardships have come some amazing thinkers. There have been men and women who, instead of picking up a sword or gun, have sat thinking. Their messages have been passed down the generations long after the wars were over. And now we are left with a gold mine of knowledge and wisdom. These people left a legacy that we should feel honored to be a part of and study. Like Will said, there are no new problems. If you want to be emotionally healthy you need to take a look at what the great adepts of the past have thought and said about being emotionally healthy.

Let me give you a little introduction to a few great minds that have affected my life. A starting point for you.

• Buddha
• Milarepa
• Socrates
• Plato
• Aristotle
• Descartes
• Kant
• Hume

The Buddha was a revolutionary, possibly the first of his kind. He sat under a tree and developed theories that have served as the basis for most philosophical thinking. Start with the Buddha’s teachings and work your way forward through history. Study the European philosophers and the masters of meditation from India, China and Japan. Do this and you will be well on your way to emotional health.

6. Avoid man made food, eat naturally
For most of my youth I failed to recognize the link between food and depression. I, like most teenagers, ate a lot of fast food and drank a lot of sugary sodas. And I felt crap, all the time. If you want long term emotional health you need to be very careful about what you put in your body.

To prove this point to yourself I want you to go out and buy the most unhealthy lunch you can. McDonald’s, Burger King, KFC or some other deep fried animal should do the trick. Now watch your mind for the next two hours. Are you more irritable? Are you more depressed and tired? Are you quicker to anger? I bet you are. Now for dinner I want you to have a meal that contains nothing man made. That means no pasta, baked goods or anything produced in a factory. Make something full of colorful vegetables and natural products. Avoid meat if you can. Now watch your mind for the next two hours. How much more energetic, happy and alive do you feel?

The thing about food is that it can change your life. If you eat poorly you are more likely to get cancer, heart disease and diabetes. If you eat well you can live longer, avoid illness and look super sexy. So why do we always opt for the bad choice? Laziness? I’m not sure. Eating well is a big part of being emotionally healthy.

7. Enjoy the middle
Quite often the reason we get unhealthy emotionally is because we do things in excess. Instead of partying once a week we do it four times a week. Instead of eating junk food on the weekends we eat it on the weekdays. Instead of having one coffee per day we have seven. A key to being emotionally healthy is doing things in moderation. Quite often it isn’t that something is inherently bad for us, it is just that we do it too often.

8. Develop strength in your own personal set of values
Emotional health is not just avoid depression and learning to cope with stress. That is just a tiny fraction of what we are talking about. Emotional health is also become a less angry person, considering other human beings in a different way and improving yourself on a variety of levels. One of the ways you can improve your emotional health is to develop a set of values and stick to them.

photo credit: margolove

When I was in high school I remember hearing that “the measure of a man is by how quickly he gets angry“. I found this statement to be extremely inspiring and decided then and there that I was going to avoid anger at all costs. The more I looked into the statement the more I realized how much other people respected calm, strong and un-angry people. This was something I was going to follow through.

Over time life has thrown me many more of these lessons. Compassion, love, patience. All of these ideas I have tried to adopt into my own persona and stick to them no matter what. And it has been an amazing source of strength. Whenever I feel my emotional state slipping I remind myself of who I want to be and whip myself back on track.

Conclusion

Emotional health is all about working with your mind and your body to achieve some sort of personal mastery. It is a long process and along the way you will inevitably stagger, fault and make mistakes. But these mistakes all serve to make you stronger. If you want to stay emotionally healthy for your entire life you need to explore your mind, read philosophy, take care of your body and avoid extremes. If you can do even a few of these you will be far better equipped than the majority of the population.

So how emotionally healthy are you? Do you do most of these things already or do you have work to do? Most important, what have I missed?

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He that is good for making excuses is seldom good for anything else. – Benjamin Franklin

When was the last time you made a resolve to achieve something, set a deadline and then achieved it? Can you even remember the last time? I’m struggling. And the reason I am struggling to remember such a time is because of excuses. I make them for everything; consciously and unconsciously. Without noticing it, excuses have become a habit that I am struggling to shake.

In this post I want to talk about the excuses culture that we have develop within ourselves and why we use excuses to protect ourselves from feelings of failure and fear. Hopefully it will spur some readers out there into action.

Why we make excuses

Photo credit: Franzi in der Wiese

A few years ago I was sitting in the car with a friend of mine having a conversation (argument) about how I always seem to find a way out of things. At the end of the debate he said something that has stayed at the front of my mind, something that I think about whenever I am feeling like making an excuse. He said:

“You have always found things easy. You are good at everything. But you aren’t great at anything because you make excuses. You would rather be the ‘potential’ to be great than actually try and fail. And that is sad.”

He was right. All my life I have been naturally gifted at sport and academics. I didn’t have to work hard to get good. But I never really excelled at anything. I never worked really hard to become great at a certain activity. Why? Because I was afraid of failure. I was afraid of trying and not getting there.

My parents role in this habit
I never blame my parents for anything in my life. I simply do not feel like it is a productive exercise. But I can see how certain things they did impacted the way I turned out. And one of those things was how my mother always told me how amazing I could be. She would constantly tell me how smart I was, how good at soccer I was and how I could become something truly special.

But rather than spurring me on to excellence it seemed to do the opposite. I was comfortable being the potential for greatness. I was afraid to actually give it a shot for fear that I wasn’t actually as smart, talented and athletic as she thought. So I made excuses. Excuses so I wouldn’t have to try.

And we all do it. All the time.

Fear: the reason for most excuses
So why do we make excuses? Why do we find ways to get out of things? Well, for the most part, it is because we are afraid. We are afraid of trying and we are afraid of failing. We are afraid of change and we will do anything to keep the norm functioning. Fear is the reason most of us make excuses.

If you look deep into your own mind and your own behavior you will see that you make excuses to protect your sense of self. We spend our whole lives developing and ego and decorating it with friends and family and money and success and we will do anything to protect our concept of that self. Even if it makes us depressed and unfulfilled. And ultimately that is what excuses do, they make you feel unfulfilled.

How to stop making excuses and move forward

photo credit: Triphamr

People say that the hardest thing you will ever do is quit smoking. But quitting excuses is 10 times harder. Excuses are the reason you started smoking, drinking and eating bad food. You make an excuse not to be healthy and an excuse not to be happy. Breaking the excuse culture is damn hard work. Here are some things you can do.

1. Realize that you do it all the time
As always, you need to take a look at yourself and really truly realize that you make mistakes. Find concrete examples of where you have sabotaged your progress by making an excuse and remember that incident. Bring it to mind whenever you feel like doing it again.

2. Look at your (lack of) progress
Take a look at how much progress you have made with your meditation, athletics, mortgage repayments or family weekend time. See how many excuses you have made and how that has affected your progress is a very real way. Until you can see that it is doing damage you will have no real impetus to stop.

3. Realize that death is coming
People always send me emails saying that I am too depressing when I talk about death. I always reply saying “it is depressing not to talk about it”. For too long our species has made death a taboo subject when, in fact, it is the only thing in life that is certain. Understand that death is coming and that you have no time for excuses. Not any. Its too hot, too cold, too nice inside, I’m too tired, I have a headache… all of those sound like absolute bullshit when you are on your deathbed looking back at what you didn’t achieve.

4. Realize you do it out of fear
If you go up to a fat man in the street and tell him that he is a coward he will probably punch you in the face. Men don’t like to be considered afraid, but that is exactly what we are. We make excuses because we are afraid. Why, then, do we still do it? If someone told us that we were afraid of something else we would do everything in our power to change and prove that we are brave. Do that now with excuses. Prove that you are not afraid of failure, change or losing the norm.

5. Be different in five years time
How different are you now to five years ago? Are you more loving, compassionate, patient, strong, rich, happy, thin, etc.? Take a look at whatever goal you have in your life and see how much closer you are to it now than you were five years ago. If you can say you are happy with your progress then chances are you don’t have a problem with excuses. If you are almost exactly the same then you can bet your right eye on the fact that you are stagnant because you are sabotaging your progress by saying “its too hard” or “its too cold outside”. Be different in five years time and stop making excuses.

Do you make excuses?

I would love to know how many of my readers consider themselves to be excuse makers. What kind of excuses do you come up with and how (if at all) have you dealt with them? Have your excuses held you back from being all that you can be? And how have you felt the weight of this “potential” slowing you down in life? Is it easier to not try?

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