Archive for the “happiness” Category

7 Things Star Wars Can Teach You About Life and Politics

Yoda and his light sabre

I was watching Star Wars: Revenge of the Sith last night and was amazed at the depth of wisdom and good advice that comes out of some of those characters. Yoda is like an old Buddhist master, Obi-Wan Kenobi is like an experience Samurai warrior and so on. There is also a lot of political pundit banter that goes on between the Council and the Dark Side. Inspired by this re-run I went through some of the old movies and found some of the best quotes and lessons that can teach us a thing or two about life and politics.

Star Wars’ Lessons on Life and Politics

“Many of the truths that we cling to depend on our point of view.” Obi-Wan Kenobi

One of the best quotes that ever came out of a Star Wars movie was when Obi-Wan said that our truths depend on our point of view. This is something that my buddhist teachers in India are always telling us – don’t be so solid, stiff and rigid. Your truth is not the next person’s truth. Truth is not always truth.

A logical proof that truth is not solidly existing is the example of water. To you and me a glass of water is something to drink. To a fish, however, it is like air. To some creatures it might be like fire. The “truth” we cling to is not a truth that is the same for everyone.

The reason I like this quote so much is because many of the wars and horrible acts that occur on Earth are because people cling to their own solid ideas of truth. You see it in religion, race divisions, political party alliance, etc. If people took time to break down the dogmas that they had been fed they would soon see that truth is not truth for everyone and this would bring people much closer together.

Bravo Obi-Wan!

“Fear is the path to the Dark Side. Fear leads to anger, anger leads to hate, hate leads to suffering.” Yoda, Star Wars Episode I: The Phantom Menace

In today’s world we are told to be afraid. The USA has a whole system set up to tell us how much we should be afraid. Some days we are supposed to be Orange level afraid, other days we might have to be Red level afraid. But the problem with fear, as Yoda points out, is that it leads to anger, hate, violence and suffering.

Fear is something that is built in to us. A certain level of fear is healthy. If we had no fear we would walk out on to the road in front of a Hummer with no second thoughts. We would do all sorts of stupid and illogical things. However, the “dark side” type of fear is a fear that says that “those people are my enemies”. It leads to categorization and pretty soon, like in many American’s minds, you are labelling all Muslims as terrorists. This is simply not true. 99.999% of Muslims are peace loving people who contibute to our society in postive and wonderful ways. They are loving fathers and caring mother. But because of fear many people label them ALL as bad.

Fear starts wars. It starts fights. It upsets our mind’s and makes us stressed and anxious. And the funny thing is – most of the time the fear is unnecessary.

So you have a choice. Do you live your life in fear and protect yourself from every possible thing that could go wrong, spending your whole life worrying about things that will probably never happen. Or, do you open yourself up to love and compassion and the goodness in human nature and life a happy and carefree life?

For me the choice is easy.

“There’s no mystical energy field that controls my destiny.” Han Solo, Star Wars Episode IV: A New Hope

Probably the best quote that ever came out of Harrison Ford’s mouth is the one you see above. Han Solo was a lone ranger, a true individual – hence is name! The wonderful thing about this is that he was fully independent and took care of his own happiness.

The great thing about this quote is that it encourages people to change their own crappy situations. Han Solo doesn’t leave his destiny up to The Force or God or Jesus or his Boss; he leaves it up to himself. He takes care of his own business and in doing so understands that he is the sole person who can make his mind happy.

But there is a danger here. Being an individual can have it’s downsides. Sometimes strong individuals are tempted to think that the never need anyone and as such become lonely and bitter people. You still need compassion and love in your life. If you live your life trying to be completely solo you will undoubtedly end up a very sad old person.

“What if the democracy we thought we were serving no longer exists, and the Republic has become the very evil we’ve been fighting to destroy?” Padme Amidala, Star Wars Episode III: Revenge of the Sith

The great thing about cinema is that is can make political and social commentary about modern issues without sounding bitter and twisted or being accused of hating America. This statement by the beautiful princess is one such comment and it is extremely important to consider.

I have long been convinced that the US Democracy is heading in strange and concerning directions. The Constitution seems to be read as a list of suggestions, the President who was appointed by a Court and not actually elected by the people can (and does!) override the representatives of the People while the rights of the American people themselves are being taken away due to a mystical war that can never end – the war on terror.

So we need to look at the Princess’ quote and ask ourselves whether holding prisioners in a cell in Cuba without trial is really what we want in a society. Sure, they might be terrorists but aren’t they supposed to be innocent until proven guilty? What about allowing one (dubiously elected) man to veto a Bill passed by your representatives that would permit scientists to use eggs (that would never become babys) to produce treatments that could potentially relieve the suffering of millions because his religion might not like it?

That sounds like dictatorship to me… not democracy.

I am touching on some sensitive issues here but my intention is not to make political statements, it is to get you to ask questions. It is to get you to open your mind. And like Han Solo and Princess Padme it is also to try to get you to realize that you are in charge of your own Politcal Destiny this year. If you do not like the direction YOUR Democracy is taking then you need to change it.

“Do or do not… there is no try.” – Yoda

I love this quote because it teaches people to believe in themselves and their own abilities. It is a confidence boosting quote that encourages you to go beyond “trying” to the point where you just do it. It gets rid of all sense of hesitation and doubt.

I once heard a meditation master say that doubt is the biggest obstacle that westerners have to happiness. We doubt we are good enough, tall enough, pretty enough, fast enough, deserved enough. We doubt ourselves all the time. Yoda is telling us to get over that doubt and just do it. Don’t just try and do it. The statement “I’ll try…” is very different to the statement “I’ll do it”.

Anakin Skywalker

“Don’t you see? We don’t have to run away anymore! I am more powerful than the Chancellor, I… I can overthrow him! And together, you and I can rule the galaxy! Make things the way we want them to be!” – Anakin Skywalker

The Revenge of the Sith tore my heart out and stomped it into the ground. It was a fantastic movie that had all the makings of a traditional Greek tragedy. It is centered around Anakin Skywalker who we know is heading towards becoming the extremely evil Darth Vader. Even though we know Anakin is becoming Vader we still are glued to the screen with curiosity. We are curious as to how someone so good can go so bad.

And the answer is power.

Anakin’s sole motivation is to benefit the galaxy. He is one of the most powerful Jedi to ever have lived but with this power comes the arrogance of thinking that he is able to rule and make things better. At the end of the movie he even calls the galaxy “my empire” and cries that only because of his efforts did the universe find peace. He is above the law, the Jedi Council and even his own Master. He feels he is all powerful and like the saying goes; absolute power corrupts absolutely.

For me this is an extremely crucial and touching element of Star Wars. Seeing how perfectly altruistic and compassionate intentions can turn bad when arrogance, unchecked power, greed and corruption are thrown in to the mix. It is fascinating to see the parallels between Anakin’s downfall and the current status of many people and nations on this planet. Fascinating but disturbing.

“Well, I should be! Some day I will be… I will be the most powerful Jedi ever. I promise you. I will even learn to stop people from dying.” – Anakin Skywalker

The final lesson for this post comes from Anakin. The lesson of death. It is a theme that runs through all the movies and a theme that runs through all of our lives. Death is inevitable. We cannot stop it. Even the most poweful Jedi in history could not stop it. And as we learned in the first quote from Yoda – fear creates suffering. We are all afraid of death but we are not preparing for it.

Accepting the truth of death is something that Anakin could not do. He was not brave enough. But we need to be. We need to figure out how to die with no regrets whatsoever. Yoda did. And as far as I am concerned this is the most powerful lesson that the Star Wars saga has to offer.

Will you die happy and laughing like Yoda or screaming like Anakin?

**Top 10 Daily Mind post.**

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June 17, 2010 Posted Under Motivation and Inspiration, happiness

The Most Special Day of the Year?

Melons and bananas for the temple
Creative Commons License photo credit: hannanik

For most of us growing up in the west the most special day is probably Christmas or our birthday. We get lavished with presents, good food and we get to spend the day with our loved ones. But for a significant part of the population the most special day of the year is something else. It is called Saga Dawa and it is the anniversary of the Buddha’s birth, death and enlightenment. But why is this day so special? Why do millions of Buddhists around the world look forward to this day every year?

Remembering the Buddha
On this day Buddhists all around the world take time to remember Shakyamuni Buddha and what he did for the world. Over 2500 years ago a man sat under a tree and attained enlightenment and then, instead of remaining quiet, he taught other people how to do the same. He taught us the causes of suffering and how to overcome those causes. He taught compassion, love and patience. And perhaps most importantly for me, he taught us how to rely on ourselves for happiness instead of an external creator. One of his final teachings before his passing was this:

“You are the community now. Be a lamp for yourselves. Be your own refuge. Seek for no other. All things must pass. Strive on diligently. Don’t give up.” – Buddha

The Buddha’s teachings have brought peace and happiness to the lives of millions of people throughout history. Today is a day when we remember that kindness and perhaps make the aspiration to follow his example and help others as much as we can.

A hundred million times the merit
Buddhists believe that on this day, a special lunar event, the merit associated with positive deeds is multiplied by 100 million. This means that whatever good things you do you will be more powerful than any other day. For this reason the monks, nuns and lay community put a lot of effort into meditation and charity on this day, helping as many elderly people, sick people and animals as they can. It is commonplace to see Buddhists spending their money buying animals that are about to be slaughtered and setting them free.

Whether or not you believe in the “100 million times the merit” angle it doesn’t really matter. Today could be a good occasion to make aspirations for the future, to remember what is important in your life and perhaps to start afresh. If you have any spiritual goals then today is the perfect opportunity to begin something new – visiting a temple for the first time, starting a daily meditation practice or giving up a bad habit.

A sincere wish for you all
The Daily Mind now has around 5000 subscribers who tune in to read my garbage. I sincerely and from the very bottom of my heart hope that this blog has only been of help to you. I hope nothing I have said has caused any harm. I genuinely want the best for each and every one of you and I think about you all the time. All of you dealing with panic attacks, I hope they stop. All of you with depression, I hope you find some joy. Anyone dealing with a death or a hard time, I hope something good comes into your life. Lastly, I hope that today marks the beginning of a new chapter in your life and you only experience happiness, good health and well being from now on.

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May 27, 2010 Posted Under happiness

The Modern Guide to Finding Happiness

maxx bass
Creative Commons License photo credit: mihow bitata

“To To fill the hour — that is happiness.” – Emerson, Ralph Waldo

In these modern times it is easier than ever to be happy. Technology, media, politics and family life all make it extremely simple to get that happiness that we all seek. In this post I am going to show you the modern guide to finding happiness. I hope that it will finally answer all of your long-held questions and concerns about how to get there.

1. Work as much as you can
We know that our life is finite and we know that we hate our jobs. So we should always attempt to work as much as we can. It doesn’t matter whether you are trying to get a promotion, more money or just drown out the other issues in your life, working lots is the answer. It is especially true if this means we spend less quality time with the family, friends and enjoyable pastimes. Being busy all of the time is a surefire way to get to know yourself and make the people around you full of joy.

2. Drink, every night if possible
When your friends ask you to go out for drink after work you should definitely do it. Alcohol makes people happy and serves as a wonderful way to forget about the troubles that you are experiencing. In the modern world of stress and depression, booze can help you numb the pain that you are just too busy to address. Surely you will have time to deal with that later once things smooth out in the office or at home?

3. Spend big, every weekend
Have you been to a shopping mall lately? The things you can buy are amazing. We have wide screen TVs, blu-ray players, home gyms, gaming consoles, designer clothes, luxury cars, watches, sneakers… it is enough to make anyone happy! Take the money you earned during the week doing the job that you hate and medicate yourself with shopping. Each individual item will make you happy. The more expensive the item and the longer you think about having it the more likely it is that the happiness will last. This is a fact.

4. Sleep with beautiful people
Head out to a nightclub on a Saturday night and you will see more beautiful women than you know what to do with. And in the age of the metro sexual male, women now can choose from a vast array of gorgeous men with chiseled abs and moisturized faces. Everywhere you look you are being told to have sex with each other. The media, Hollywood, magazine advertisements, your friends… all of them are telling you to get out there and live out your fantasies and desires because it is only then that you will feel happy. The bigger the bust the happier you will be. And you know what, you might not ever be happy until you have tried them.

5. Use your technology at every moment
Now that we all have iPhones, computers, laptops, GPS in our cars, games on our TVs, etc. it is important to never go a moment without engaging one of them. When you are waiting in line to see a movie make sure you check your email on your iPhone while listening to your iPod.

Groenplaats Antwerpen
Creative Commons License photo credit: FaceMePLS

If your senses are engaged all the time you will never feel depressed, especially when you finally need to turn them all off to sleep. Technology is really making happiness a whole lot easier.

6. Model your life after musicians, celebrities and other rich people
The closer you look the more you will realize that musicians, celebrities and rich people are happy. Truly happy. These guys have it together. Whether they are off sun baking in the Bahamas, making hip hop videos with beautiful women around them or closing a multinational business account, these guys know what makes them happy. They rarely experience problems because they have famous friends and nice things to hide behind. If only we had as much as them, we would be as happy as they are.

What have I forgot

Is there anything else I have forgotten to include in the modern guide for finding happiness? Is there anything else in this day and age that will really make you happy. Please leave a comment and let us know.

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February 22, 2010 Posted Under happiness

Say What You Need to Say. Here.

Communicate
Creative Commons License photo credit: joesflickr

“Take all of your wasted honor, Every little past frustration, Take all of your so called problems, Better put em in quotations. Say what you need to say.” – John Mayer, Say.

Imagine you had something to say to someone close to you but they died before you mustered up the courage. Imagine you needed to talk to your lover about something but were too afraid and so lived your life in silence. Today I had the idea that we would tell them here. Call it a practice round but I want everyone who has something to say to someone to leave a comment here. Say what you need to say.

Why should I?

Quite often it is music that plants a seed in my head. And quite often that music comes from John Mayer. I recently found myself listening to “Say” with tears in my eyes. The tears weren’t because I had missed an opportunity to say something to someone I loved, but because I realized how painful that situation must be. And I thought about all the people out there who are living with that desperation. Listen to the song.

If you do not have the courage to go and talk to that person I want you to leave a comment here as if you were telling them in person. Imagine that this post is a place where you can come, offload your problem, and begin the process of healing or of developing the courage to tell them in person. If you know someone who should talk to a loved one, send them this link and encourage them to leave a comment.

What should I say?

Whatever is on your mind, say it. It could be something you need to tell your wife or husband. It might be as simple as “I love you”. Or you might need to tell your father that he was a lousy parent and that you are angry at him. Or perhaps you need to tell him how amazing he was. Maybe you need to yell at your Government because you feel like you aren’t being heard. Or perhaps you need to say something to yourself.

Say what you need to say.

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November 27, 2009 Posted Under happiness

The Lifetime Guide to Staying Emotionally Healthy

Laugh!
Creative Commons License photo credit: Schantzilla

“A clear understanding of negative emotions dismisses them.” – Vernon Howard

Stress, depression, panic attacks and anxiety. The modern world is overflowing with emotional problems of all different kinds. And chances are you or someone you know has suffered from some form of emotionally unhealthy state. So how can we avoid these problems? Are there things we can do to prevent them coming about?

In this post I am going to present the lifetime guide to staying emotionally healthy. I hope it helps someone out there.

What is emotional health?

Before I present any ideas about emotional health I need to define it. Without a solid idea we really won’t know what were talking about and we will get lost.

Emotional health is not a single state of mind like “pleasure” or “joy” but an ongoing process. Emotional health is a conversation, a journey and above all it is work. It will change and you will go up and down. Even the most emotionally healthy person will have bad days. But those bad days are all part of the process, and they’re aware of it.

Emotional health is all about gathering new tools and methods to constantly better your mind. It is flux.

To be emotionally healthy you need to spend a lot of time being open and learning. As soon as you close your mind to new ideas or information you cut yourself off from the possibility of being healthy. This post could perhaps serve as a starting point. It is by no means the end point. Read, research, study and practice. And never give up, because emotional health is an ongoing process.

Why is emotional health so important?

Mediating [Struggle For Pleasure]
Creative Commons License photo credit: RSNY

I have always found it extremely interesting that today’s society will place a massive emphasis on physical well being but almost nothing is done about the mental state. Unless you are suffering from serious depression or some other mental illness, you don’t hear anything about “working on your mind” or “developing emotional health”. And this is quite troubling.

Imagine how happy we could be if we spent as much time working with our emotions as we did running on the treadmill or cooking a healthy dinner. Imagine how different the world would be if there was less anger and more compassion. I think it would be a very different place.

What I am going to show you in this post, however, is that you don’t need to necessarily sit on a cushion or take separate time out to become emotionally healthy. In fact, going to the gym and cooking a nice meal is a big part of emotional health. Stick around and see if you learn something new and, as always, leave a comment if I have forgotten anything.

The lifetime guide to staying emotionally healthy

Norbulinka, the Dalai Lama's Summer Palace
Creative Commons License photo credit: fairlybuoyant

Now for the main bulk of the post. Here I am going to present some ideas that you can use work with your emotions in order to become more emotionally healthy. Remember, this is a long term project that you will have to stick at for the rest of your life. You will, however, start to see results right away.

1. Understand you are in control of your emotions
The very first step you need to take on this journey is to realize that you are in control of your emotions. This fact is lost on the modern world; many of us become slaves to anger and depression and stress. But when you turn that around and start to understand that you are the boss of what goes on in your head, you are suddenly left with a very workable situation. Without this understanding, however, no progress can be made.

2. Become familiar with your mind through meditation
Once you have conviction that you are in control of your emotions, you need to become familiar with them through meditation. Now, meditation does not mean sitting on a cushion saying “OOMMM” over and over. Sure it can be that, but it is not only that. The way to meditate is to constantly bring your attention to your thoughts and just let your mind relax in that.

The Tibetan word for meditation is “gom” which means “to familiarize”. This gives us a great insight into what meditation is supposed to be. It is not about relaxing so much as it is about familiarizing ourselves with positive states of mind. Compassion, love, patience, silence. And the very interesting thing about meditation is that these states of mind arise naturally when you just start to look at your mind.

How does this work? Simple. According to Buddhism the nature of every being is compassionate. We are not inherently evil and we are not naturally sinners. Naturally we are compassionate but we have lost connection with that innate part of our being. But looking at the mind re-connects us with that state because we all of a sudden get in control of our minds. And when we get in control of our minds the first thing we feel is sadness for all those people out there who are still struggling. It is an intensely powerful moment in your life.

If you want to learn more about meditation you can check back on some of my other articles:

One of the best things you can do for yourself if you want to become happy and proficient in controlling your mind is learn from someone who has already done it. There are so many wonderful meditation teachers in our world, I encourage you to connect with one. And that leads us to our next point.

3. Connect with good people and avoid bad company
A few weeks ago I wrote an article about avoiding bad company which ruffled up some feathers. A got a few emails that day saying that I was a disloyal friend and that you should stick by your mates even if they are bad for you. Okay, fine. I agree. You should stick by your bad mates if you are able to do so without them being a negative influence on you. But when you see yourself in a downward spiral it is time to leave them alone.

Surrounding yourself with good company is one of the most important life lessons a person can learn. Once a dear friend of mine told me that you will become the average of your five closest friends so make sure you choose wisely. I did. I chose people who were happy, successful and who worked for the betterment of others. I very rarely spend time with people who are selfish, hateful and bigoted. The Buddha once said:

“Put a rose in a sack of fish and soon the rose starts to stink too.”

Now there is no problem visiting people with the motivation of helping them or cheering them up. That is a wonderful thing to do. But if you are best friends with a drug addict racist who starts to rub off on you then you are in for problems. If you want to be emotionally healthy you need to surround yourself with people who are living a life you wish to emulate. Let them rub off on you.

4. Practice ethical behavior to avoid depression, anxiety and fear
Once you have become familiar with your mind and have made a commitment to stay emotionally healthy it is important to live an ethical life. Without a solid basis of ethical behavior there is no chance for long term happiness. So why are ethics so important? Let’s take a look.

Grande Dame
Creative Commons License photo credit: Daniel Greene

The first thing you will notice about an unethical or mean person is that they have very few true friends. They may have followers or people around them who latch on out of fear, but they have no trusted confidants. And that is a very lonely place to be. In fact, it is a situation that will eventually drive you crazy.

It is also important to realize that negative acts come back to you. If you spend your life stealing or cheating on your girlfriends the chances are your reputation will come back to haunt you. And I am not just talking about other people being mad at you. Soon you will begin to feel guilty. Imagine living your whole life hurting others and to be in the last stages of your life and feel intense regret. It would be an emotion so crippling that you would struggle to cope. Life your life without regrets.

5. Read the masters and scholars of the past
Will Smith is a Hollywood star that many people admire for his staunch opposition to gangster rap that denigrates women and encourages violence and his lifetime pursuit of being a “nice guy”. A few years ago I saw a video of Will Smith speaking to thousands of kids at a Nickelodeon Kids Choice Awards ceremony. What he said really knocked my socks off.

The human race has an amazing history full of struggles and hardships. But out of those hardships have come some amazing thinkers. There have been men and women who, instead of picking up a sword or gun, have sat thinking. Their messages have been passed down the generations long after the wars were over. And now we are left with a gold mine of knowledge and wisdom. These people left a legacy that we should feel honored to be a part of and study. Like Will said, there are no new problems. If you want to be emotionally healthy you need to take a look at what the great adepts of the past have thought and said about being emotionally healthy.

Let me give you a little introduction to a few great minds that have affected my life. A starting point for you.

The Buddha was a revolutionary, possibly the first of his kind. He sat under a tree and developed theories that have served as the basis for most philosophical thinking. Start with the Buddha’s teachings and work your way forward through history. Study the European philosophers and the masters of meditation from India, China and Japan. Do this and you will be well on your way to emotional health.

6. Avoid man made food, eat naturally
For most of my youth I failed to recognize the link between food and depression. I, like most teenagers, ate a lot of fast food and drank a lot of sugary sodas. And I felt crap, all the time. If you want long term emotional health you need to be very careful about what you put in your body.

To prove this point to yourself I want you to go out and buy the most unhealthy lunch you can. McDonald’s, Burger King, KFC or some other deep fried animal should do the trick. Now watch your mind for the next two hours. Are you more irritable? Are you more depressed and tired? Are you quicker to anger? I bet you are. Now for dinner I want you to have a meal that contains nothing man made. That means no pasta, baked goods or anything produced in a factory. Make something full of colorful vegetables and natural products. Avoid meat if you can. Now watch your mind for the next two hours. How much more energetic, happy and alive do you feel?

The thing about food is that it can change your life. If you eat poorly you are more likely to get cancer, heart disease and diabetes. If you eat well you can live longer, avoid illness and look super sexy. So why do we always opt for the bad choice? Laziness? I’m not sure. Eating well is a big part of being emotionally healthy.

7. Enjoy the middle
Quite often the reason we get unhealthy emotionally is because we do things in excess. Instead of partying once a week we do it four times a week. Instead of eating junk food on the weekends we eat it on the weekdays. Instead of having one coffee per day we have seven. A key to being emotionally healthy is doing things in moderation. Quite often it isn’t that something is inherently bad for us, it is just that we do it too often.

8. Develop strength in your own personal set of values
Emotional health is not just avoid depression and learning to cope with stress. That is just a tiny fraction of what we are talking about. Emotional health is also become a less angry person, considering other human beings in a different way and improving yourself on a variety of levels. One of the ways you can improve your emotional health is to develop a set of values and stick to them.

Last Winter, at the Lake
Creative Commons License photo credit: margolove

When I was in high school I remember hearing that “the measure of a man is by how quickly he gets angry“. I found this statement to be extremely inspiring and decided then and there that I was going to avoid anger at all costs. The more I looked into the statement the more I realized how much other people respected calm, strong and un-angry people. This was something I was going to follow through.

Over time life has thrown me many more of these lessons. Compassion, love, patience. All of these ideas I have tried to adopt into my own persona and stick to them no matter what. And it has been an amazing source of strength. Whenever I feel my emotional state slipping I remind myself of who I want to be and whip myself back on track.

Conclusion

Emotional health is all about working with your mind and your body to achieve some sort of personal mastery. It is a long process and along the way you will inevitably stagger, fault and make mistakes. But these mistakes all serve to make you stronger. If you want to stay emotionally healthy for your entire life you need to explore your mind, read philosophy, take care of your body and avoid extremes. If you can do even a few of these you will be far better equipped than the majority of the population.

So how emotionally healthy are you? Do you do most of these things already or do you have work to do? Most important, what have I missed?

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November 25, 2009 Posted Under Deeper Thinking, Health, How To, happiness