The more I observe brilliant people, the more I notice that one distinguishing characteristic they have is immense curiosity. I’m reminded of this quality when I read two articles by Bill Gates where he listed his favorite Teaching Company courses. There are two things I notice:

1. He watches a lot of courses in addition to reading a lot of books.
2. He watches courses on diverse topics, ranging from economy to chemistry to linguistics to medicine.

Another good example is Nathan Myhrvold (whom I wrote about in my post about polymaths). Just watch his talk at TED and you will see that his interests range from cooking to photography to nuclear technology to archeology and more. I can give you other examples but I think the point is clear: immense curiosity is a distinguishing characteristic of brilliant people.

Why Curiosity Is Important

How does curiosity contribute to someone’s brilliance? Why is it important? There are two reasons I can think of:

1. It gives you a fresh perspective. Most people have just one or two lenses to see a problem through, but curious people have many different lenses. As a result, they can see something that many other people can’t. That’s what happened in Nathan Myhrvold’s company when someone found something that had eluded experts in the field:

Wood was a physicist, not a doctor, but that wasn’t necessarily a liability, at this stage. “People in biology and medicine don’t do arithmetic,” he said. He wasn’t being critical of biologists and physicians: this was, after all, a man who read medical journals for fun. He meant that the traditions of medicine encouraged qualitative observation and interpretation. But what physicists do—out of sheer force of habit and training—is measure things and compare measurements, and do the math to put measurements in context. At that moment, while reading The New England Journal, Wood had the advantages of someone looking at a familiar fact with a fresh perspective.

A physicist who “read medical journals for fun” is definitely a curious person. And he had the advantage of a fresh perspective.

2. It gives you fresh ideas. Using the term from The Medici Effect, curiosity gives you Intersection experience where concepts from different fields collide with one another and produce fresh ideas. Since curious people get more Intersection experience, they consequently get more fresh ideas.

Seven Ways to Develop Your Curiosity

Now that we’ve seen how important curiosity is, how can we develop it? Here are several things you can do:

1. Don’t label something as boring. This is the first thing you should do. Whenever you’re about to label something as boring, stop yourself. Why? Because doing that will close one more door of opportunities. What might seem boring at the surface may actually be interesting if you just dig a little bit deeper.

2. Expect things to be fun. Rather than expecting things to be boring, expect them to be fun. This small change in your mindset can make a big difference. Once you do it, it will be much easier for you to find the fun side of practically anything.

3. Absorb other people’s enthusiasm. Often something seems boring because it’s delivered poorly. That’s perhaps one thing that makes great teachers great: they can connect their students to the fun side of what they’re teaching. So one way to develop your curiosity is to watch the talks of those who are enthusiastic about their fields. Don’t just absorb their knowledge; absorb their energy too. One good place to start is TED.

4. Question relentlessly. Whenever you deal with a topic, have questions in your mind. Find their answers and raise new questions. Questions keep your mind engaged. They can change your learning process from something dull to a treasure hunt.

5. Create a challenge. By creating a challenge, you will want to prove to yourself (and perhaps to others) that you can make it. One good way to do that is by creating a project: build something real out of what you learn. Another way is to create a contest with your friends to find out who can do something faster or better.

6. Connect to what you already know. Things will be more exciting if you can connect what you’re learning to what you already know. Why? Because that improves your understanding of the world and allows you to see new possibilities you’ve never realized before.

7. Diversify. Avoid boredom and find new possibilities by exploring new topics. Read books in new genres. Meet people with different professions. Add variety to your life.

The core is simple, actually. All the advice above can be summarized to just one: make things fun.

Photo by fdecomite

Note: This is a guest post from Ayo Olaniyan of Discovering Purpose

Look at the picture closely: Is the glass half full or half empty?

The BBC website published a report Optimistic women ‘live longer’. This was based on a research carried out by a group of US scientists who studied 100,000 women to deduce pessimists had higher blood pressure and cholesterol; optimistic women had a 9% lower risk of developing heart disease and a 14% lower risk of dying from any cause after more than eight years of follow-up.

The concept of this post isn’t targeted at women only; I believe the subject of optimism affects every individual going/living through life’s struggles each day. There have been various studies carried out on optimism and while I have a few reservations on extreme optimism, one can’t deny the role optimism plays in enhancing your personal growth.

What is optimism?

Optimism is looking at a more favorable side of events and simply anticipating the best possible outcome in any situation.

Sir Winston Churchill states ‘A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity; an optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty.’ What do you see?

A few months ago, I filled out the VIA Survey of Character Strengths by Martin Seligman (founder of Positive Psychology) and the results showed I was moderately optimistic.

It’s also important to note that there are elements of hope expressed in optimism.

Rick Snyder states ‘hope is a process of goal-directed thoughts that reflects both the belief that one can find pathways to the goal and has motivation based on one’s perceived capabilities or thinking.’

In no particular order, here are 45 benefits of optimism:

1. It gives you a reason for living.
2. It reduces the level of stress experienced.
3. Research shows that it increases longevity.
4. It enables you to handle and put your emotions in check.
5. It promotes happiness.
6. It promotes self respect and integrity
7. It enhances various coping skills developed in order to combat life’s struggles.
8. It forges persistence which is an essential trait required for achieving success.
9. It creates a sense of fulfillment and satisfaction.
10. It promotes healthy living.
11. It creates a positive anticipation of the future.
12. It increases your level of productivity.
13. It allows you to deal with failure constructively.
14. It allows you to develop the attribute of patience.
15. It makes you proactive.
16. It improves your physiological and psychological well being.
17. It enables you to take a balanced approach to life by dealing with the constant negative thoughts which spring up.
18. It increases the likelihood of effective problem solving.
19. It gives you peace of mind.
20. It enables you to generate an alternative, more hopeful explanation for various difficulties experienced.
21. It ensures you believe in your dream.
22. It creates a positive attitude.
23. It increases your tolerance levels because it lowers the risk of you being irritated by little things.
24. It allows you to develop the habit of being thankful.
25. It increases your level of motivation.
26. It builds successful careers by promoting productivity.
27. It promotes laughter.
28. It doesn’t give any room for self denial.
29. It welcomes any form of constructive change.
30. It creates positive expectations.
31. It sets your mood for the day.
32. It promotes positive relationships.
33. It builds resilience in the face of adversity.
34. It promotes self confidence and boosts self esteem.
35. It ensures you are focused.
36. It promotes bonding between individuals.
37. It reduces the level of your frustrations and worries.
38. It promotes forgiveness.
39. It enhances effective communication.
40. It increases your spiritual development and awakening.
41. It deals with your limiting beliefs which try to keep you from using your abilities.
42. It gives room for self expression.
43. It increases your mental flexibility.
44. It is therapeutic.
45. It improves your social life.

There are several ways optimism can be developed. They are as follows:

• Have realistic goals and expectations.
• Always remember you are human with a lot of imperfections.
• Acknowledge past events, but endeavor to manage the present with a view to creating a brighter future.
• Don’t fall into the trap of feeling hopeless.
• Be true to yourself.
• Network with people who show optimism in their daily lives.
• Believe in your dreams.

Once again, the aim of this post is to remind you of the benefits of optimism.

I look forward to your comments and suggestions.

Ayo Olaniyan is a certified Unitive Life Coach. He is also an Accredited Professional Counsellor with the Counselling Society United Kingdom. He writes on how you can discover your purpose through personal development and self-awareness on the blog Discovering Purpose. He is also the publisher of The Life Skills Magazine.

photo credit: AltoExyl

It’s been a while since we had a good old fashioned Ethical Dilemma debate and for the last few months a topic has been brewing in my mind. I thought I would write it out here and see if any of our fantastic readers can shed some light on this issue. Let me set the stage.

Here in South Australia we are about to have a State election. One of the big issues of the campaign is that the current Attorney General has used his powers to remove an R18 rating from the gaming industry as a means of censoring violent video games. The Attorney General has come under fire for this move as many groups (gamers, libertarians, etc.) believe that no censorship is acceptable, even if it is done with the motivation to protect children from bad images. Many people are worried that there is an increasing trend in Australia towards censorship; indeed the Federal Government is planning to censor the internet (with Google’s help) by the end of the year.

Here is the dilemma:

The politicians promise us that only extremely disturbing things will be filtered from the net. But still people are worried. Could it be that soon some movies will be deemed too violent or inappropriate for us to view. What about news that perhaps the Government doesn’t agree with? Is it right to censor video games from adults in order to protect children?

I would love to hear your opinions on the matter. South Australia has made world news for this and other recent censorship issues and I would be very interested to hear whether the world at large thinks this is a good idea.

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Note: This is a guest post from Michael ‘Sean’ Kaminsky of Video Regeneration

Got video? Not long ago, video cameras were mainly owned by pro videographers and home enthusiasts. Now with a camera stashed in nearly every phone, digital camera and laptop, you are more likely to struggle to find a working pen than a nearby video camera. Not only that, if you lack a camera you can purchase one for under $100. But where does video fit into the optimized life?

Video use is expanding exponentially, and not just on YouTube. Video resumes are becoming common, video chat is evolving, and big opportunities remain to use video for activities ranging from marketing and promotion to social change and activism. However, even more dramatic shifts appear likely.

New technologies are being developed that allow small segments of videos to be easily linked to other small segments. Sound familiar? The ability to do the same with text led to what we call the Internet today. Yet despite all this potential, there is often an intimidation factor with video that doesn’t exist with the written (or typed) word. This article will show you several helpful ways to get over those feelings, and find your own authentic, video voice.

There are two mistakes people often make in the way they think about video. The first is they assume that all video must become public – i.e. a video blog for the world to view. However, they may not realize that unlike video blogging, video journaling is a private activity akin to its written diary counterpart. Journaling on video gives the freedom to experiment.

The second mistake is that people see video as a complex activity that requires specialized knowledge. Video can be complex depending on your goals, but video blogging or journaling can also be extremely simple and straightforward. Your camcorder is simply a tool. Though it is a powerful tool, the way it is used is in your control. Alright, ready to tap into the power of video?

Flip on your camera and make a brief video journal entry about your day, or something else that you have wanted to express:

1. Give yourself permission to experiment. One strategy that helps encourage this is to decide that everything you shoot, you will delete immediately after reviewing it. Of course you can always change your mind! However, giving yourself this permission removes any pressure to perform.
2. Set it and forget it. Turn your camera on and make sure that it’s recording properly. Beyond that, forget the technical stuff for now. It’s easy to become distracted by our gadgets and all the options they provide, but that’s not necessary. You can always geek out later if you like.
3. Don’t forget to breathe. Breath connects mind to body. It’s nearly impossible to relax if you aren’t breathing fully and deeply. This applies to daily life as well. Make a commitment to consciously deepen your breath for one full day and notice the difference in your state of being.
4. Pay attention to “whom” you imagine speaking when you create your journal entry. Are they a friendly and nurturing source, or a critical and judging presence? Recording a video journal can reveal a lot about yourself and the way you relate to the world.
5. Experiment with looking directly in the lens versus watching your image while you record. Some people feel more comfortable with one or the other. Remember though, that in a live video situation the only way to make “eye contact” with the other person is to look directly in the lens – not at your own image.
6. Have fun! The mainstream media tends to be appearance driven and this conception can color the experience. Let this go and allow yourself to be imperfect on camera. Be patient and allow your natural self-expression to emerge.
7. When you are ready, look back at your video with an open attitude and ask yourself: “Would I like to share this with others?” This might mean friends and family or video blogging to the world. If you decide you would rather keep your video private, that’s okay too. Keeping a private video journal can become a life-changing practice of its own.

The above is just the beginning. The many ways that video can be explored are only limited by your imagination. By experimenting with an open mind and most importantly, an open heart, you can use this potent means of communication and self-expression to its highest potential.

Michael ‘Sean’ Kaminsky is a writer, video blogger and documentary filmmaker. His new book Naked Lens: Video Blogging & Video Journaling to Reclaim the YOU in YouTube shows readers how to use video for self-growth, healing and creative expression. www.videoregeneration.com

Photo by ssh

A few months ago I wrote a post on personal analytics. There I discussed how more and more people make their life decisions based on numbers. They don’t make their decisions based on what they feel but based on facts. This way their decisions are well-informed and based on strong foundations.

How can we apply personal analytics to our lives? The key is to track your life metrics. Only by tracking them can you get the numbers upon which to make informed decisions.

Unfortunately, the tracking process is still mostly manual these days (with a few exceptions like Nike+ that can automatically track your running speed and distance). Because of that, if you track too many metrics you risk spending too much time on the tracking process at the expense of doing real work.

So the best thing to do is to track just a few important metrics. This way you can get the benefits without spending too much time on the tracking process. Here are three essential things you should track:

1. Income and expenses

You should know how much money you make and how much money you spend on different things. Many people aren’t aware that they have financial problems until everything is too late. Or perhaps they’re aware, but they don’t know how it happened. Consequently, they have no idea how to solve it.

That’s why it’s important that you take note of your income and expenses. Doing that helps you spot the weak areas in your personal finance so that you can take the necessary actions.

To track your income and expenses, you can use a spreadsheet or a personal finance application. Here are a few personal finance applications you can use:

• Quicken
• Mint
• Wesabe
• GnuCash

One simple rule on money management that I find useful is to spend your money to buy assets whenever possible.

2. Time

Have you ever had days where you wondered why you’ve accomplished so little? That’s one reason why you need to track your time. You need to know where your time went.

There are many ways to do this. You can create a time log where you record all your activities during the day along with the time and duration. This could be burdensome though. A simpler way is to just track how many productive sessions you have in a day. The Now Habit (here is my review) suggests a session to be thirty minutes long but it’s up to you. The important thing is to make sure that the productive session is indeed productive. Reading e-mails and random browsing don’t count. Alternatively, you can track your time indirectly by tracking your goals for the day or week. If you achieve your desired goals then you know that you’ve used your time productively.

To track your time, you can use a timer and spreadsheet or use a dedicated time tracking application like Klok and RescueTime. If you choose to track your goals, you can use a to-do list application like Remember the Milk or even just a text file.

3. Habits

Do you have a good habit that you want to build or a bad habit that you want to break? As Peter Drucker said, what get measured get managed. So tracking it is a good way to reach your goal.

You can do it simply by taking notes of how many times you do the habit in a certain period of time. You can then see how your score is for that period of time. With good habit, the goal is to maximize the score while with bad habit the goal is to minimize it. If you want to, you can reward yourself whenever you make an improvement. A spreadsheet or a text file is enough for tracking your habits.

***

The first and second metrics deal with your personal resources: money and time. They are limited so you must make sure that you use them wisely. There’s still one more important resource actually, which is your energy, but I don’t know how to track it (any idea?). The third metric deals with your habits which, of course, are essential for an effective life.

By tracking your personal finance, time, and habits, you increase your awareness of your life. This helps you not only to figure out what problems you might have but also to take the necessary actions to solve them.

Photo by Pink Sherbet Photography

Note: This is a guest post from Mark Foo of 77 Success Traits

“The beauty of empowering others is that your own power is not diminished in the process,” said Barbara Coloroso. This is an idea that has held true throughout much of my experience. In fact, empowering other people puts out the positive vibes into the atmosphere that will be returned to you, not in any sort of karmic sense necessarily, but in terms of improving your own sense of self-awareness and confidence. This can be achieved in a number of little ways that can range from simply boosting someone else’s mood to helping them realize new aspects of their personalities. We are all in this life together, and helping others achieve their goals can get our own on track.

The following are 50 little things you can do to empower other people and get started down this path.

1. Give out compliments that you mean. Most people can see straight through a phony compliment, but if you think your friend looks especially nice today with that new hairstyle, tell her so. Just be open and direct in your interactions.

2. Speak and act with honesty. If you always speak with integrity and believe in your own words and actions, others will also pick up on this and mimic it, fostering an atmosphere of trust.

3. Listen to others. Always listen to what other people say. I used to zone out when others were speaking but now make a point of looking into their eyes and listening to their words, which has made a world of difference in personal interactions.

4. Help illustrate your points with visual aids. When leading a meeting or presentation, realize that many other people are visual learners. My girlfriend can’t understand a concept without a diagram to back it up.

5. Teach a class. If you have a skill or knowledge to share, why not teach your own class that helps spread it to others?

6. Get involved in community art projects. Artistic projects in the community are a great way to help get everyone involved in making the city a more beautiful place to live, instilling a sense of pride in all residents.

7. Mentor a child or student. Getting involved in one child’s life, especially if they are at-risk, helps you both make connections throughout your lifetime.

8. Volunteer with local organizations. These can be community discussion groups or of a more volunteer-oriented nature.

9. Lead a group on a travel expedition. My friend works for the local art museum leading groups of the elderly on art-oriented field trips around town and abroad, which helps everyone connect and learn something new.

10. Donate money to charity. If you have extra money, helping organize a fund for a pet cause helps bring the community together.

11. Help the spread of community health clinics. This can be done by volunteering yourself, or donating money. Either way, it can be vital in helping those who have problems affording health care to realize that they are still valued individuals and that their health matters.

12. Take the time to talk to strangers. That conversation that is simply small talk to you can mean a lot to someone else who is shy or feels that their opinion isn’t taken into consideration often enough.

13. Start a non-profit. This is a project that can be difficult but ultimately rewarding not only for you but for the others who become involved as well, helping you all to work together towards an ultimate goal.

14. Travel abroad and make new friends. Getting out there as an ambassador of sorts in the world helps you connect with others who may want to learn more about your culture but otherwise wouldn’t have the opportunity. This ends up being a learning experience for both parties involved.

15. Reach out to friends and relatives at a distance. If you have lost touch with loved ones, give them a call and let them know that someone is thinking of them.

16. Be aware of body language. Your body language sends a strong message to others, so be aware if you have your arms folded across your chest while you talk that you are shutting others out, for example.

17. Be sincere. Your sincerity will help to make people feel appreciated.

18. Nurture talent in others. If you notice someone has a talent that they aren’t putting to use, let them know. Gently offer suggestions of where they may go to learn more. If the child you are mentoring is constantly doodling, for example, get them signed up for an art class.

19. Go out and support local musicians. In every city there are unimaginable numbers of young struggling musicians who could be the next Beatles if given the chance. I’ve seen some amazing live acts recently by picking a name out of the listings and simply turning up in support.

20. Give thoughtful gifts. When giving gifts during birthdays or the holidays, take the time to think about what the person might really need or appreciate.

21. Join a community farm or grocery coop. Working together to provide fresh, sustainable food for the community is one of the hot trends in some community organizations.

22. Volunteer in schools. Though it might sound cliché, young people are our future indeed, and helping out in schools that are struggling financially can make a big difference in a young person’s life. Be a positive role model.

23. Stay in touch with local politics. Helping others get empowered means also being kept up to date with the latest in what is going on in your own town.

24. Throw dinner parties with a mixed range of guests. Get together a group of people who don’t necessarily know each other yet but you feel that their personalities might mesh well together. This is how we learn from one another.

25. Smile more often. There is an anonymous quote that states, “A smile confuses an approaching frown.”

26. Use public transportation. Not only is this better for the environment, but it gives you a chance to interact more with the community.

27. Organize recycling projects. This helps give back to the community and teaches people about the need to respect our natural environment, which is empowering for all.

28. Run a benefit event. Leading a team of volunteers; set up a means for raising money for a cause that you all are interested in. This can be a chain reaction, with the volunteer team then feeling more empowered to go a step further with its own charity efforts.

29. Project positivity and eliminate negative thoughts. This positivity will then be returned by others.

30. Join a book group or club. The exchange of ideas tends to be helpful for all people involved, and can spark new business or interpersonal ideas in between all of you.

31. Start or join a language exchange program. This helps foster feelings of competency in a foreign country for someone who may be feeling like an outsider, and also helps you build your own language skills.

32. Lead team-building exercises at work. This can go beyond old-fashioned trust falls to more imaginative retreats. My friend recently led his team out in a wild-mushroom foraging expedition, which was a unique way for them to learn something new as well as get to know each other, in a beautiful outdoor setting.

33. Encourage social activities. Get new social activities planned within your group of friends, your family, or in a larger community sense.

34. Initiate physical contact. In this society in particular, there is a hesitance to touch one another. By simply placing a hand on someone’s shoulder, you are helping to reconnect with that person.

35. Tell your loved ones how you feel about them. Don’t wait till it’s too late to let someone you love know how you feel about him or her. Life is wonderful but short.

36. Make sure the atmosphere at work is a democratic one. Let everyone’s opinion be heard, and be sure to give feedback to their ideas.

37. Nod your head when someone is making a point. A simple piece of non-verbal communication like this can help inspire someone to move forward in the discussion more.

38. Help foster creativity. If someone is talented, tell them so. Andy Warhol was notoriously shy as a child and perhaps would never have branched out to become the powerful artist he is now known as if someone had not said a few words of encouragement to him in his early art classes.

39. Run meetings with an open, discussion oriented atmosphere. Whether at work or in a larger community sense, let everyone know their opinion is valued.

40. Have suggestions ready for those who need advice. This means taking the time to think about your own behavior, past mistakes, and how you’ve moved forward. With this information in hand, you will be well equipped to advise others.

41. Take walks to new areas of town. I’ve met some of my good friends by simply walking around in their neighborhood and having to ask for directions.

42. Spend time planting trees in the community. This helps improve the overall beauty and positive feelings in the city, instilling a sense of pride in other residents.

43. Set up a food or blanket drive. This helps others in the community and empowers the other volunteers by letting them see they can make a difference.

44. Learn inspiring quotes that can be doled out. As Bill Gates once said, “The vision is really all about empowering workers.”

45. Learn new listening techniques. This can be a combination of proper responses and cocking your head at the right time to show someone else their opinion matters.

46. Study psychology. A friend of mine went back to school to be a psychologist in order to reach out to people on a scientific level, but even a few basics of human behavior are both interesting and can help you be more effective in interpersonal communications.

47. Give a helping hand. Whether it’s helping someone who fell to get back up, or picking up something that spilled in the supermarket, it shows you care, which is empowering.

48. Give encouragement instead of criticism. Dale Carnegie said, “Abilities wither under criticism; they blossom under encouragement.” Every one of us has the magic power of empowering other people simply by generously giving praise and showing encouragement instead of criticism to help them realize their potential.

49. Take time for yourself to help others. By taking the time to sit and reflect upon my own actions each day, I find I’m better able to mentally be available for others when out in public or at home with my family. You can do the same.

50. Learn intervention techniques. In the event that someone you know is struggling with addiction, this is a way to help them get over it and empower themselves to get back on track.

Do you have any tip on how we can empower other people? Please share with us in the comment section below.

Discover how to achieve all that you want in life in The 77 Traits of Highly Successful People. Mark Foo has brought together 48 personal development bloggers and writers to co-author this success eBook that spells out all the success secrets. Claim your FREE copy of the eBook now at http://www.77SuccessTraits.com.

Photo by Yodel Anecdotal

photo credit: Paco CT

“All of us who are worth anything, spend our manhood in unlearning the follies, or expiating the mistakes of our youth.” – Percy Bysshe Shelley

It’s the 1940s and our man, now just a small boy, is growing up in a middle class family with a bunch of brothers and sisters. Mom stays at home while dad goes to work. He brings home a very good income. Our man, still a small boy, is smart, athletic and showing a lot of potential. Everything is going swimmingly. As he grows up he plays sports, studies hard and looks after his siblings. Around age 14 his mother gets sick. A year later she is dead. Everything begins to fall to pieces.

A new mother
Within the year his father had remarried and this woman brings along two children of her own. She hated our man (now 15) and his brothers and sisters. She wants their father all to themselves. She does whatever she can to make their lives miserable; manipulated them against each other and against their dad. The father is too busy to notice that anything was wrong, he is absorbed in his own misery, too focused on diluting the grief with work. The things she did to our man would, these days, be classified as physical and emotional abuse.

At age 16 our man sits his final school exams having been skipped ahead a year due to his exceptional mind. He heads home happy in the knowledge that he will get a place at University in any course that he wants. He has done well. He can’t wait to see how proud his father will be. His wished his mother was there to see. As he walks up the darkened street towards home, bathed in moon and street light, he can see two box-like figures on his porch. What are they? As he gets closer he realizes they are suitcases. On top of the first one is a note from his step mother, “I have packed your things. Time to move out. Don’t bother coming inside“.

Un-Coping
This stage of his life is called un-coping. In reality, it probably extends well beyond the initial grief and lasts until the day he dies. He never really gets over the loss of his mother. He wasn’t taught how. There were no goodbyes, no post-death counseling sessions and very little support from his father. It was the 1950s and 60s and no-one talked about emotions, feelings or how to deal with a loss. You just got on with it.

So that’s what he did. He got on with it. He got on with drinking alcohol and gambling. He got on with meeting lots of women. But none of them dulled the pain forever and none of the girls replaced his mother. They didn’t even come close. Our man, now in his twenties, fell into line and joined the family business despite having dreams and aspirations and the ability to do other things. He did what his father told him to do, even when it wasn’t in his best interests. He never really learned how to be his own man. He was still un-coping with his tumultuous childhood. Perhaps by joining the family business he would win the attention of his dad.

Replicating the disaster
This stage of his life is called replicating the disaster. We might call it “having a family”. Having met a beautiful woman he decides to propose as soon as he can. She accepts the proposal, seduced and infatuated with his charm, wit and tendency towards popularity and success. Completely unaware that his drinking and gambling were becoming an issue, they have two children, one after the other and settle down in the suburbs.

Barely a week goes by where our man doesn’t fight with his wife. Occasionally they fight in front of the children. If they manage to conceal the arguments, the kids would notice the upset mother and the absence of the father. He was at the pub putting money into machines or on horses. Everyone knows it. Soon work colleagues and family friends know it. Our man has developed a reputation around town as a drunk, a gambler and a womanizer. His wife is, of course, the last to find out.

Quite unconsciously our man pushes his loved ones away. He would ignore them when he had free time and make himself busy when he could. His arrival home from work would be characterized by the shutting of doors, children heading to their rooms to bury themselves in books and video games, finding any way to escape his foul breath and poisonous attitudes towards immigrants on the news, stories of his work mates and clients and, above all, women. At an early age his children learned that he was no role model. It was a lesson they never un-learned.

Alone again
This stage of his life is called alone again. If we are really honest, however, we might call it “still alone” because it was not like he ever really connected. But, the wife and family get tired of the gambling and the drinking and they pack up and leave. Our man, now in his 50s, moves back in with his father as the gambling had made renting a place too financially difficult, despite a $100k a year income.

Occasionally his kids stop by to see him, mostly to assuage their own guilt. These visits got less frequent however as the constant complaining and blaming of others grows too suffocating. Our man has, for all of his life, blamed others for his faults. Every weekend at the races was the fault of an inattentive wife. Every night at the pub was the fault of a slow-to-pay client. Every mistake was that of someone else.

How does it end?
And though our story ends, our man lives on. Alone. He has girlfriends, quite a few, actually. But they don’t stick around. Today’s women are too intelligent and independent for that. His children still visit him, three or four times a year. Normally they see a movie so they don’t have to talk to him. The darkness of the cinema works well for our man too, he doesn’t have to look at how grown up his children are, how much he has missed out on.

I can’t help but wonder how it will end. Will our man ever beat his demons? Is he ever going to be able to look in the mirror and recognize his faults? How long can a person hold a grudge against their mother and father? How long can he blame them? Most of all I wonder how our man can continue to engage in the very activities and habits that have caused him ruin. A life of great potential, blamed away, day by day.

That is my story, about a man.

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Note: This is a guest post from Scott Young of Learning on Steroids

We’ve been taught how to study, but not how to learn.

That’s the only conclusion I can draw when I watch otherwise intelligent people spend hours cramming for exams, while failing to understand the material being taught.

Studying tends to focus on repetition. If you study a formula enough times, it will magically glue itself in your head. The more you repeat, the better you remember.

Learning isn’t just about repetition, it’s about making connections. Simply staring at the same formula a dozen times isn’t learning, even though we’ve been told it qualifies as studying. Learning a formula means understand what its components are, reviewing the proof or relating it to similar formulas.

Instead of trying to memorize by rote, you should be learning by connections.

Learning Hacks to Allow You to “Get” Any Subject

I’ve aced tests without studying for them. Over four years of university, my GPA has always sat between an A and an A+. I even placed first in a regional academic competition, without having taken the course being tested.

But in the grand scheme of things, my accomplishments are relatively modest. I know polyglots who can speak 8 languages, students who graduated from competitive programs with triple the normal courseload and learners who went from C to A+ averages while studying less than before.

The underlying trend in all of these learners is their ability to learn by making connections. Instead of relying on memorizing material repeatedly, they weave any new information into their existing knowledge.

During the years since I’ve been writing about this idea, I’ve managed to identify some of the main tactics these learners use to connect ideas together. Here are seven:

#1 – Analogies and Metaphors

Whenever you learn a fact, ask yourself what the idea is similar to. You can learn abstract processes by creating metaphors for more common events. Variables in computer programming become jars. Derivatives become the speedometer and odometer on your car.

#2 – Mental Pictures

Have you ever tried to visualize a mathematical formula?

It’s not as ridiculous as it sounds. If you break apart a complex formula into components, you can try to imagine what it would like as a graph or how each component influences each other.

I used this to remember how to calculate the determinant of a matrix. Instead of just memorizing rules, I created a mental picture of my hands scooping through the diagonals, adding and removing the numbers.

#3 – Dig a Foundation

Do you ever get surprised how easy early subjects appear, once you advance in them. Arithmetic looks easy once you start with algebra, which seems trivial once you go onto calculus. Going a bit further in the progression means you still struggle with the furthest ideas, but the earlier ones become easier.

What if you applied this in reverse: did a bit of extra research on your most difficult topics. You might not understand the further research perfectly, but it would make understanding your testable material much easier.

#4 – Become the Teacher

Try switching roles: how would you explain what you’re learning to someone else? The act of explanation creates connections. Teaching also forces you to simplify and break down complex ideas, another good step to foster learning.

#5 – Stop Taking Rigid Notes

Are you trying to learn, or create a courtroom transcript of the lecture? My suggestion is to free yourself from rigid notes, and instead write down ideas in branches and connections. Add your own thoughts, diagrams and arrows linking ideas so you have a web of information.

#6 – Diagram

Remember when your teacher told you to stop doodling in class? Well recent research suggests that drawing can actually increase your concentration.

I’d guess that if you were actually drawing out information related to the class, that might improve your concentration even more. I don’t know if a picture is actually worth a thousand words, but it can often be worth many connections towards a greater understanding.

#7 – Pegging

Mental magicians actually use this tactic to memorize any number. The tactic is a bit complicated for a brief article, but the basic idea is to attach each digit to a specific consonant. So 1 = s, 2 = k and 6 = r.

The next step is to put these consonants together. So 16578 becomes s, r, d, l, p. You can then insert any vowels within these letters to create nouns. So srdlp becomes sword and loop. You then string the nouns together in a story: “The sword cut through the loop before Jonathan…”

Then, even to remember hundreds of numbers, you only need to remember the story and letters key.

Scott Young is the author of Learn More, Study Less. He runs a program designed to teach rapid learning tactics. The program is currently sold out, but you can go here to get on the announcement list for when it reopens.

Photo by Hermés

There’s an interesting talk at TED by Stefan Sagmeister titled The Power of Time Off. In the talk, Sagmeister shared his experience of how he takes one full year off every seven years to recharge his creative life. During the sabbatical year, he closes his design company and doesn’t accept any design request. It might seem strange to take one full year for sabbatical, but he argued that it gives him more than what it costs.

There are at least three things he gets from his sabbatical years:

1. He gets fresh ideas for his creative work. Referring to one sabbatical year of his, he said that all the ideas in the following seven years came out from that one year.
2. It benefits him financially. Though he didn’t accept any request for one year, the improved quality of his work allowed him to ask for higher prices in the following years. He could eventually make more money than what he lost.
3. It made his work a calling again. This is my favorite of the three. In the talk, Sagmeister talked about three levels of work: job (when you do your work just for money), career (when you pursue advancement and promotion), and calling (when you do your work simply because it’s fulfilling). Even if your work is something you love to do, the daily routine could make it a job. Sagmeister said that taking a sabbatical year makes his work a calling again.

As you can see, these three things solve three common problems that many people have at work:

• Lack of creative ideas.
• Lack of financial improvement.
• Lack of purpose and fulfillment. This one affects not just your work, but also your life in general.

If you had any of these problems, here is a simple way to recharge your life: take time off. Of course, it doesn’t have to be one full year since most people (including me) can’t afford it without any serious consequences. But taking even short periods of time off is useful. Here’s what I suggest you to do:

1. Take time off every day. You should set aside time in your day where you can be away from your routine. Cut your communication with the outside world for a while. Use the time to get a sense of clarity of your life and work. Reconnect with your life purpose and look at the big picture of your life. Are you on the right track? Are you doing the right things? You can do this by meditating, praying, walking in the garden, or any way you like. The important thing is that you to reflect on your life with a clear mind. You don’t have to spend much time on it. Half an hour is enough, in my experience. Doing this helps you live your daily life with clarity.
2. Take a few days off every now and then. During that time, try not to do your routine that might introduce noise into your life. For me that means not connecting to the Internet. Though it’s not necessary, going out of town could be helpful. I can attest from personal experience that such time is really rewarding. I often see my life and work from a new perspective. I can see the forest rather than the trees. This, of course, will happen only if you spend time to reflect on your life and work.

It reminds me of the story of two woodcutters. One of them sawed down the trees all the time without ever sharpening his saw. The other person spent time to sharpen his saw and only then did he saw down the trees. Which one do you think would cut more trees at the end?

Don’t let the busyness of your life lead you to the wrong direction. Allocate time to reconnect with your purpose and calling. Allocate time to see the big picture of your life. Taking time off helps you stay sharp.

Photo by notsogoodphotography