Note: This is a guest post from Mark Harrison of Effortless Abundance

First – a sweeping statement. Everyone wants success and happiness. We might not agree about what this means – each of us defines ‘success’ and ‘happiness’ in a different way – but everyone aspires to these things. Yet for so many people, happiness and success are elusive, and we can spend a great deal of time looking for the answers.

For many years I was an avid collector of ‘self improvement’ books – I have several hundred in my collection – and yet, however many I read and enjoyed, I never seemed to get closer to finding what I was looking for. I was looking in the wrong place, of course. I was looking outside when the key was within me all along.

There is nothing wrong with self-help books: they can be entertaining, inspiring and challenging. But they cannot change you. What changes you is the realization that you are in control.

What you control is your mind. What we focus our attention on grows and becomes a more important part of our experience. Many – perhaps most – people tend to focus a lot on negative things. We fret about the past, about missed opportunities, mistakes and failures, we fear the future with all its uncertainty; we worry about our relationships, our investments, and our security. We compare ourselves to others in an unfavorable light, and we fear that we are inadequate. These negative thoughts continually arise and, with attention, they grow and persist.

This kind of thinking is poison: it is corrosive, toxic, destructive, and we need to purge ourselves of it. To attract more positive experiences into our life – to become truly happy and successful – we need to eliminate the negative thinking which, for many of us, has become such an integral part of our life. It’s not so much that we need to ‘think positively’ so much as that we need to drop the habitual, negative thoughts that swirl around our head and make up so much of the background noise in our lives. I am convinced that our natural, ‘default’ state is peace and happiness, and that success comes easily if we have nothing blocking the way.

Dropping negative thinking is, in a sense, very simple. Just don’t do it any more. Take your hand off the stove. And yet we are so used to inflicting this kind of pain on ourselves that just ‘letting go’ can be extraordinarily difficult.

One of the most important and useful things to remember is that your mind is a tool. You are its master, not its servant, so you should take control. Remember that thoughts are not reality. Although we often seem to think that our thoughts are reflections of the way things are out there in the world, the reality is that our thoughts shape the way we experience things. We could say that the world we experience is an echo of our thoughts, our inner reality.

Be vigilant and be diligent in being aware of your thoughts. When you spot a negative thought, just drop it. Just stop thinking about it. Switch your attention to something else if you have to. At first, it might be difficult but, as with everything else in life, gentle persistence will bring results. With practice, you will be able to uproot the old, harmful thought patterns and catch negative thinking before it takes hold.

One of the most wonderful books I have ever read is Awareness by Anthony de Mello. The message is simply that being aware of our negative thinking will change it. Instead of identifying with the negative thoughts in our head, we can be the silent observer, watching the thoughts and deciding, consciously, what to do with them. The only sensible option is to drop them. Why let them dictate how we feel? Why let them determine our happiness?

It is possible to be at peace, to be relaxed and happy and to enjoy every situation in life. It is possible to be successful easily and naturally. It’s all about maintaining the right mental attitude and knowing how to deal with the thoughts that come into our mind. So why waste another moment on negative thinking?

Mark writes for a number of sites around the web. Check out his site and his new book, Thity Days to Change Your Life.

Photo by Kevin Tiqui

photo credit: mihow bitata

“To To fill the hour — that is happiness.” – Emerson, Ralph Waldo

In these modern times it is easier than ever to be happy. Technology, media, politics and family life all make it extremely simple to get that happiness that we all seek. In this post I am going to show you the modern guide to finding happiness. I hope that it will finally answer all of your long-held questions and concerns about how to get there.

1. Work as much as you can
We know that our life is finite and we know that we hate our jobs. So we should always attempt to work as much as we can. It doesn’t matter whether you are trying to get a promotion, more money or just drown out the other issues in your life, working lots is the answer. It is especially true if this means we spend less quality time with the family, friends and enjoyable pastimes. Being busy all of the time is a surefire way to get to know yourself and make the people around you full of joy.

2. Drink, every night if possible
When your friends ask you to go out for drink after work you should definitely do it. Alcohol makes people happy and serves as a wonderful way to forget about the troubles that you are experiencing. In the modern world of stress and depression, booze can help you numb the pain that you are just too busy to address. Surely you will have time to deal with that later once things smooth out in the office or at home?

3. Spend big, every weekend
Have you been to a shopping mall lately? The things you can buy are amazing. We have wide screen TVs, blu-ray players, home gyms, gaming consoles, designer clothes, luxury cars, watches, sneakers… it is enough to make anyone happy! Take the money you earned during the week doing the job that you hate and medicate yourself with shopping. Each individual item will make you happy. The more expensive the item and the longer you think about having it the more likely it is that the happiness will last. This is a fact.

4. Sleep with beautiful people
Head out to a nightclub on a Saturday night and you will see more beautiful women than you know what to do with. And in the age of the metro sexual male, women now can choose from a vast array of gorgeous men with chiseled abs and moisturized faces. Everywhere you look you are being told to have sex with each other. The media, Hollywood, magazine advertisements, your friends… all of them are telling you to get out there and live out your fantasies and desires because it is only then that you will feel happy. The bigger the bust the happier you will be. And you know what, you might not ever be happy until you have tried them.

5. Use your technology at every moment
Now that we all have iPhones, computers, laptops, GPS in our cars, games on our TVs, etc. it is important to never go a moment without engaging one of them. When you are waiting in line to see a movie make sure you check your email on your iPhone while listening to your iPod.

photo credit: FaceMePLS

If your senses are engaged all the time you will never feel depressed, especially when you finally need to turn them all off to sleep. Technology is really making happiness a whole lot easier.

6. Model your life after musicians, celebrities and other rich people
The closer you look the more you will realize that musicians, celebrities and rich people are happy. Truly happy. These guys have it together. Whether they are off sun baking in the Bahamas, making hip hop videos with beautiful women around them or closing a multinational business account, these guys know what makes them happy. They rarely experience problems because they have famous friends and nice things to hide behind. If only we had as much as them, we would be as happy as they are.

What have I forgot

Is there anything else I have forgotten to include in the modern guide for finding happiness? Is there anything else in this day and age that will really make you happy. Please leave a comment and let us know.

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I always like to extract life lessons from seemingly unrelated ideas. This time I want to discuss an interesting article titled Why Poor Countries Are Poor. The article, which talks about the reasons some countries are poor, takes Cameroon as an example:

The average Cameroonian is eight times poorer than the average citizen of the world and almost 50 times poorer than the typical American. And Cameroon is getting poorer.

To grasp the situation better, look at the infrastructure there:

Douala, a city of 2 million people, has no real roads… Piles of rubble and vast holes mark unfinished construction or demolition work. Along the middle is a strip of potholes that 20 years ago was a road… As our car slowly bumped and lurched through the crowds, I tried to make sense of it all by asking Sam, the driver, about the country. “Sam, how long was it since the roads were last fixed?” “The roads, they have not been fixed for 19 years.”

19 years? How could that happen? Remember, Douala is a major city. Didn’t the people complain about it?

The Main Reason Poor Countries Are Poor

Economists have theories about what make a country poor:

Economists used to think wealth came from a combination of man-made resources (roads, factories, telephone systems), human resources (hard work and education), and technological resources (technical know-how, or simply high-tech machinery).

But the author argues that the picture is incomplete. There is an important part missing. The missing part explains why a poor country couldn’t build those necessary resources in the first place. Here it is:

Government banditry, widespread waste, and oppressive regulations are all elements in that missing piece of the puzzle… During the last 10 years or so, economists working on development issues have converged on the mantra that “institutions matter.”

Having bad institutions is the main reason poor countries are poor. How do you know whether or not a country has bad institutions? There’s a clear characteristic:

…self-interested and ambitious people are in positions of power, great and small, all over the world. In many places, they are restrained by the law, the press, and democratic opposition. Cameroon’s tragedy is that there is nothing to hold self-interest in check.

That’s it. There’s nothing to hold self-interest in check. As a result, everyone just looks for ways to benefit himself without ever thinking about what the consequences might be for other people or future generations. There’s no mechanism to restrain short-sighted behavior.

A Life Lesson for Individuals

I know that an individual is much less complex than a country, but I do see a parallel here. To succeed, especially in this era of globalization, you need to have good resources. Having good infrastructure, knowledge and technology is tremendously helpful. But, above all, what you need to be successful is good “institutions.” It’s good “institutions” that enable you to use your resources effectively and even build them in the first place. Without them, your self-interest will rule:

1. You will only do things that give you short-term benefits.
2. You won’t do the painful things necessary for long-term good.
3. You might cheat to get something for yourself at the expense of other people’s interest.

Good “institutions” help you prevent this short-sighted behavior.

The question is: what constitute good “institutions” at individual level? What are the things that hold self-interest in check? The answer, in my opinion, is your values and self-discipline. These are the foundation upon which you can build many other things necessary for success. They help you develop your potential and use your resources in the best possible way.

Let’s look closer at both of them:

1. Self-discipline. Self-discipline pushes you to do things that are painful in the short-term but good for you and other people in the long-term. Self-discipline makes you do the deliberate practice necessary to master a skill. Self-discipline makes you do your work even if you don’t feel like to.
2. Values. Your values fuel your self-discipline. They ensure that you have the internal motivation to do the right things rather than external motivation (like fear of punishment). They ensure that you can stay disciplined in the long run. Furthermore, they keep you from doing things that are harmful to other people or future generations.

Though they are different, the core of what makes a country successful is also what makes you successful. You need something that holds short-sighted behavior in check. You need something that makes you do painful things today for the sake of long-term good. You need to have strong values and self-discipline.

Photo by DraconianRain

A great deal of self-help emphasizes overcoming your fears. Our fears, we’re told, are the reason we aren’t sky-diving millionaires with supermodel spouses right now.

A quick Google search shows over 3.2 million entries for “how to overcome fear.” The book, Feel the Fear and Do It Anyways was a major best-seller. Clearly there is a demand from people wanting to overcome their fears and the army of authors and pundits is there to supply the solution.

Fear Isn’t the Biggest Problem

First, I want to claim that overcoming your fears is not the #1 obstacle to living the ideal life. I prefer Cal Newport’s suggestion that skill trumps courage. As I’ve written about here, the reason you aren’t a millionaire probably has more to do with not having the skills to earn a million dollars, and less to do with your fears.

However, even if fears aren’t the most important obstacle to overcome, they can still matter. Just as laziness, guilt, insecurity or any other psychological block can prevent you from making good decisions to improve your situation, your fears can hold you back.

You’re Afraid of Failure Because Failure Sucks

Sometimes your fears are legitimate.

If you’re afraid of quitting your job or dropping out of college to start a business, the fear of failure may be real. No, failing won’t kill you, but you may spin yourself into thousands of dollars of debt with nothing to show for it. Worse, you could have missed better opportunities to further your career.

If you’re afraid of asking a friend for a date, that fear may be real. The damage may be temporary, but you may sense that success isn’t likely and you may create awkwardness in your social group.

If you’re afraid to live in a foreign country, there may be some basis to that. If you don’t speak the language or don’t have an adaptable personality, the challenges of living abroad and being alone could be overwhelming.

Does this mean I think you shouldn’t pursue your ideal career, tell people how you feel about them or live abroad? Definitely not. I’ve done all those things. But that doesn’t mean I haven’t failed, or even that my fears were completely unjustified.

Being lost, broke or rejected are genuine consequences of real fears. The reason your fears are so difficult to overcome isn’t that they are irrational. The real reason is that, often, they are at least partially true.

Conquering Fears Requires More than Just Courage

To me telling someone to use courage to overcome fears is like telling a fat person to “stop eating so much.”

Sure, it’s true. Almost all weight-loss boils down to caloric restriction with exercise at some point. But is that helpful?

A better recommendation wouldn’t just use willpower, but emphasize on creating a system for reducing the desire to overeat. Keep less junk food in the house, stick to a pre-defined meal plan, learn to cook healthier foods. All of these are more practical suggestions.

Similarly, the “use courage” mantra isn’t very practical.

An Alternative: Engineer a Low Cost of Failure

If you accept that fears haunt us because they often have at least a partial basis in reality–and you accept that courage is often impractical advice, then there is another solution: reduce the cost of failure.

Engineering the situation so it has a lower cost of failure will make overcoming your fears a lot easier. Not because you’ll have more courage, but because a lot of your fears will go away, or at least reduce in intensity.

Take the fear of quitting your job. If, instead of quitting, you started your business part-time, that would drastically reduce the cost of failure. The worst-case scenario would be some lost time or less aggressive career growth at your current job.

Or what about the fear of asking someone on a date? If you can’t summon up the courage to go further, maybe make a smaller step forward. Spend more time with the person, make smaller moves and see if he or she reciprocates.

Flirting as a social practice may have developed primarily to engineer a lower cost of failure in dating. Linguist Steven Pinker devotes a chapter of his book using game theory to explain how ambiguous wording can save face if the other person isn’t interested.

How about living abroad? Even that is something that can be engineered to a lower cost of failure. Reduce the length of your trip. Travel to the region before deciding to live there. Maybe make a shorter stay away from your home environment to see if you can handle it.

Engineering Low Failure Costs Works Where Courage Can’t

The idea for this article came to me yesterday when I was cooking in my kitchen. I was trying a new recipe, and I was thinking about how the cost of failure often prevented me from experimenting with different cooking techniques. Often the win from discovering a new dish was outweighed by going hungry if it turned out poorly.

However, by making sure I had a quick backup meal if the first one failed, that made it far easier to experiment with new dishes. Also, allocating more time for cooking in my daily routine made the price of a ruined meal considerably lower.

Because I reduced the cost of failure, I’ve been experimenting with a lot more dishes. Last night I made kushari and before that I was making baba ghanoush. I’ve probably improved my cooking skill more in the last six months than I had in the six years prior to that.

The idea of using courage to improve my cooking skill seemed ridiculous. I wasn’t afraid of cooking new dishes, or if I was, I certainly wasn’t conscious of that fear. However, engineering a lower failure cost allowed me to tackle a problem that I had never considered before.

Note: This is a guest post from Thanh Lu of www.thanhdlu.com

You always hear that relationship is the basis for long term personal and business success. “Care” is the only strategy you need to connect and establish a great relationship that is based on trust and friendship. In Dale Carnegie’s How To Win Friends and Influence People, getting people to like you and having genuine relationships with other people is the essence to a good quality of life. There are numerous reminders to nurture relationship and make the other person feel appreciated. I always wondered what that meant – how do you translate that into actions? How do you really translate that into real actions to be equivalent to creating a bond with another person? Abstract goals need to be measurable in real actions.

Below are 9 actions to build relationships with others:

1. Ask about their families/pets/significant others

Nothing gets to the heart of the matter faster than a person’s parents or girlfriend or boyfriend. In your conversations, ask about the people that are close to them. Even a simple “How are your parents/girl/boyfriend?” bring out a human element that creates an opportunity for bonding.

2. Talk about their interests/hobbies/current events

It’s common wisdom that people love to talk about their hot buttons. Find something, an idea or a philosophy or a hobby that others are passionate about and just ask a question. With the power of social media today it is not hard to find hot buttons to focus on.

3. Give small token of gifts

Small gifts go a long way; a small gift shows that you’re thinking of them, that you invested thoughts into them. Some examples of gifts could be: gift certificates, movie tickets, candy, snacks, baked goods, shirt, hat, cards, lunch, stationery, etc. Small gifts are often more meaningful than bigger gifts on special occasions as they provide reminders of the relationship more often than gifts on special occasions.

4. Better yet – give personalized gifts

Make a gift that you are good at in your hobby. Whether it is writing, painting, technology, computers, these personalized gifts can be practical. Upgrade a computer program, knit a scarf, crochet, sew a shirt, or make a photo album – these ideas create memories and plenty of usage.

5. Get involved and bring ideas

People are always working on some projects, professionally or personally. Get involved and bring ideas. People express themselves through their work, as a hobby or in business. When you dive into something they’re working on and offer resources and your findings, you tell the other person you appreciate them for who they are and who they’re trying to be.

6. Ask good questions, and then listen

When people vent and talk about the problems they’re facing, listen and ask questions. Ask good questions. You get to know people through their struggles and challenges.

7. Always start with a positive introduction

Greet people with an upbeat persona. A strong hello or a smile makes a huge difference in a person’s day. And everyone wants that sense of recognition that comes through in your positive greetings.

8. Be comfortable. Be real. Be authentic you.

Don’t forget to be who you are. When you’re comfortable, you’re real. Show up to your friend’s house. Call unexpectedly. Drop by your colleague’s place for lunch. Be goofy or be intense. When you are who you are, you share a part of that with the other person, creating a stronger bond.

9. Reach a little further and reach out to their significant others

Nothing says more that you care than when you reach beyond that person to their family and friends. Send birthday cards to their family members or loved ones. Buy a toy for their siblings or a snack for their pet. Families and friends are extensions of who we are, so when others notice us for those extensions, it creates stronger bonds.

Thanh likes to blog about success, social cultures, and moral wisdom at www.thanhdlu.com . She explores insights and perspectives for a good quality of life.

Photo by batega

A common piece of advice is that perfectionism is bad. At least, that’s what you’d believe if you read an online article on the topic.

However, I feel the situation is more complex. Certainly some perfectionism is bad–it causes us to procrastinate, leave projects unfinished and become mired in self-criticism.

But, in some ways perfectionism is necessary. Stopping at “good enough” is an easy way to ensure you’ll never accomplish anything remarkable.

Good Perfectionism, Bad Perfectionism

There are two types of perfectionism:

1. Short-term perfectionism on a particular project, task or goal.
2. Long-term perfectionism on projects, tasks and goals, in general.

When most people rally against the threat of perfectionism, they are really attacking short-term perfectionism. This is the crippling form that says you must perfect something before you can finish.

Short-term perfectionism occurs when you spend weeks unemployed, polishing your resume without mailing it to any potential employers. Or spending eighteen months on a new Web 2.0 platform without releasing anything to see if there is actually a market. Or devoting half your exam time to finishing your first essay response–when you need to complete another five.

Short-term perfectionism is almost certainly bad. If these perfectionists just mailed their resumes, released earlier builds or completed question one, they would waste less time and accomplish more.

But just as short-term perfectionism is bad, long-term perfectionism can be crucial.

Good Enough for Now, Never Good Enough Forever

A long-term perfectionist isn’t held back by releasing. In fact, she probably finishes aggressively since finishing allows her to get feedback. Instead, she channels her perfectionism into an attitude that good enough is never a permanent state.

This breed of perfectionist embodies the attitude I believe is necessary to become insanely good at something. Because their drive to improve extends far beyond what is “good enough”, as declared by society, they often become a lot better than good enough.

Example #1: Perfectionist Bloggers

Ramit Sethi, is one of my favorite personal finance bloggers on the internet. But most people wouldn’t guess that he spends upwards of 15-17 hours writing an article.

Tim Ferriss, speaks here about the lengths he goes to in optimizing his webpage. He tracks data ruthlessly, analyzing what are the most popular posts, what are the best days to publish and split tests his website layout over geography to reveal cultural differences in his readership.

I recently had a conversation with Cal Newport. Even though he isn’t a full-time blogger (being an author and MIT postdoc take most of his time) he still uses embodies my view of the long-term perfectionist. Cal uses each article as a chance to deliberately practice specific writing techniques he has identified beforehand.

All these three people have gone well beyond “good enough”. They’ve probably gone beyond “great enough” as well, but that’s a different story. There lesson is twofold:

1. They publish regularly and frequently (so they are definitely not short-term perfectionists)
2. Even after success, they remain dedicated to the unending path of mastery.

Example #2: Being Funny is Hard Work

Jerry Seinfeld delivers a hilarious acceptance speech for a lifetime achievement in comedy. (Click here if the player won’t load)

Midway through the speech he comments:

“The truth is, the comedians should be the only ones getting awards. We’re the only ones that actually have to think of something original. Something funny, or interesting.

Do you know how hard that is? Do you know how hard it was to write what I am saying to you right now? It was really hard. This took a long time.”

Chances are, the joke you hear a successful stand-up say has been told for live audiences hundreds of times beforehand. Each repetition perfects the timing, word-choice, delivery and body language making even a seemingly effortless off-the-cuff remark a perfected product.

The lesson of comedians like Seinfeld is twofold again. They get up and practice frequently in-front of live audiences, so there is no short-term perfectionism crippling their progress. But also, many of them endlessly refine their approach so that they can anticipate every facet of an audiences reaction before a joke is told.

My Personal Example

Recently I launched a new learning tactics subscription. On the short-term I wasn’t a perfectionist. The program didn’t have a forum, I did the design for all the content myself and I didn’t even use a website–all the content was delivered via email. Instead of delaying, I launched with less to make sure there was actually a demand for the concept.

However, once I did confirm there was a demand, my long-term desire for perfection kicked in. I’m now putting in many hours to add the features initially missing from the program. I’ve also started taking surveys and maintaining spreadsheets to help test and improve the results people can see within the program.

I definitely don’t embody the split between long and short-term perfectionism ideally. But, it has been an attitude I’ve worked to add into the way I approach life.

There is No “Good Enough”…

…in the big picture, at least. And if the desire to finish isn’t coupled with a drive to go beyond “good enough” you probably won’t get either good or enough.

I’m currently reading Hot, Flat, and Crowded 2.0 by Thomas Friedman. The book mainly discusses the ecological crisis we are facing, but the first three chapters also discusses the 2008 financial crisis. Ecological crisis and financial crisis may seem unrelated to each other, but Friedman argues that they actually have the same cause:

The way we were creating wealth had built up so many toxic assets in both the financial world and the natural world that by 2008/9 it shook the very foundation of our markets and ecosystems. That’s right, while they might not appear on the surface to have been related, the destabilization of both the Market and Mother Nature had the same root causes… The same recklessness undermined all of them.

Friedman explains the causes in more details, but they actually come down to just one thing: greed – the desire to get as much as possible for oneself without thinking about how things would be for other people or future generations.

Greed is the reason why people made irrationally risky investment in subprime mortgage assets. Greed is also the reason why people are depleting natural resources at an unprecedented rate. They want to increase their quality of life without thinking about whether or not they do it in a sustainable way.

The problem is people usually aren’t aware of the coming danger until everything is too late. Greed blinds them. Here’s what they might think:

1. Nothing could go wrong. We have done this for years and nothing negative happens. Besides, the probability that things could go wrong is small so there’s no reason to stop doing it.
2. Everyone is doing it. If I didn’t do it, I wouldn’t enjoy the rewards that everyone else is enjoying.

The scary thing here is this kind of thinking also caused the collapse of many civilizations throughout the history. The book Collapse by Jared Diamond has many such stories. Here’s one of them:

The overall picture for Easter is the most extreme example of forest destruction in the Pacific, and among the most extreme in the world: the whole forest gone, and all of its tree species extinct… The further consequences start with starvation, a population crash, and a descent into cannibalism.

But why did the deforestation happen? Here it is:

… competition between clans and chiefs driving the erection of bigger statues requiring more wood, rope, and food.

This, again, is greed at play. Greed made the people exhaust their resources despite the apparent danger. Didn’t they realize that exhausting their resources would cause their civilization to collapse? Greed had blinded them, obviously.

The same thing applies to individuals. A greedy person may become obsessed with money or prestige at the expense of his health or relationships. Greed blinds him to the coming danger until everything is too late.

This is an important reminder for all of us. Beware of greed. Here is a simple rule:

Where there is greed, there is a silent danger.

Photo by NeoGaboX

photo credit: adeltoclarencedock

Daily life is tough. Really tough. Sometimes our emotions run so wild that we think we are going to give up. Other times our body is so tired we feel like we need to just collapse right there at work. Modern life seems to be about work, money, stress, depression and not enough sleep. But there is something that can help. There is a simple way to combat stress, create more energy and build a better life. If you feel like you need some extra help dealing with all that is thrown your way then maybe this 5×5 meditation plan is for you.

Why meditation can solve our problems

Before I actually get into the 5×5 plan I want to talk a little bit about why meditation can help to solve our problems. Many of you are probably thinking that meditation is just for hippies who want to sit around all day and do nothing. But that idea couldn’t be further from the truth. Mediation is an ancient art that has been helping people for thousands of years. It is completely supported by science as a means of changing our emotions, habits and even brain structure.

So how can meditation solve our problems? Well as many of you know, the Tibetan word for meditation is gom which can be translated literally as “to familiarize“. Meditation is really about becoming familiar with your mind and making your mind familiar to more favorable states. For example, if your spouse does something to annoy you over and over you will immediately get angry. If they do it again a few weeks later you will get angry again. Your mind has become familiar with anger. But if you use meditation you familiarize yourself with a different state of mind, you might automatically react with patience or understanding and thus avoid the anxiety associated with the anger.

Meditation is also extremely healthy. It causes your brain to release many feel good hormones like cortisol which can actually alleviate depression and other negative frames of mind. So while you are training yourself to become more happy, your brain and body are actually helping you do that on a more physiological level. Some of the other major benefits that you will experience when meditating include:

• becoming less tired
• having more energy
• being happy for no tangible reason
• stress anxiety becomes less and less vicious
• depression arises less often
• an increased level of awareness
• an increased ability to help others
• better ability to deal with difficult circumstances
• an increased immune system and resistance to disease
• a better functioning brain and mind
• increase health (heart, lungs, digestive system, etc.)
• etc

Regular readers will know that I spend a lot of time in the Himalayas with my yogi friends. At one time or another I have seen examples of all of these benefits with my own eyes. Meditation practitioners have an aura of natural happiness, health and energy. Being around them is often infectiously peaceful and can be a very intense learning experience. I have no doubt in my mind that this stuff produces concrete results in a short amount of time.

The 5×5 meditation plan for a better life

photo credit: Stuart Conner

So what is this 5×5 meditation plan? How does it work? It is quite simple really. All you have to do is spend five minutes meditating five times a day. But before you close the window thinking “there is no way I am going to do that” let me explain a little bit about what I mean by “meditating”.

What kind of meditation do you mean?
Most people think that meditation means sitting down with your legs crossed and your hands in a weird gesture. And while that style of meditation is fantastic, it is not really what we are talking about here. The 5×5 plan does not require you to buy a new meditation cushion and sit down for five minutes five times a day. All it is asking is that you stop what you are doing, sit there and look at your mind. You could be on the toilet, sitting in the car about to leave for work, about to go to bed at night, etc. All you have to do is sit there and look directly at your mind for five minutes.

Why five times a day?
As beginners, we need to do short bursts more often. It is only the experts that can sit there for hours at a time doing their practice. It is the same of any discipline. If we were just starting with the guitar we would be better of practicing for short bursts so we don’t cut our fingers or get bored and chuck it in. If we were just starting with jogging or running we need to build up over time so we don’t drop dead of a heart attack! The same is true of meditation. Short bursts of five minutes done five times a day will cause us to make progress extremely quickly without feeling like we are doing a lot of work. In just a few sessions you will feel happier and less stressed.

What exactly do I do?
It is simple. Find a place to sit down. A chair is fine. Now focus on your breath going in and out of your nose for as long as it takes to get settled. It might take you two or three breaths or it might take a lot more. Once you have done that just gently shift your attention to your mind. Watch the thoughts coming and going and dissolving into nothing. Watch your emotions come and go. Don’t engage them. Don’t allow yourself to run away with your thoughts. Don’t play little mental games or carry out mental stories and chatter. Just watch. Observe. Don’t try to change anything. And after five minutes stop.

The routine
Let’s be honest. If you don’t have a routine you are never going to do it. So pick five times a day that will allow you to sit down and do this practice. I think the best times might be:

• before starting work
• after eating your morning tea
• before or after lunch
• after eating your afternoon tea
• before bed

If you try to associate your meals or an event like beginning work with a short meditation practice you will be less likely to forget as it will become part of your daily routine. After just a few sessions you will see some changes in your mind.

Obstacles
Anyone who has done a bit of meditation will tell you that you need to become good friends with obstacles. Meditation is fraught with them. Quite often as you start to become familiar with your mind you will notice a lot of negative emotions and chatter that you didn’t notice before. Many people make the mistake of thinking that meditation is making their mind worse. In actual fact, you are just becoming aware of things that you were too busy to notice before. Just watch them. Don’t let them fool you into playing with them. If you just observe they will vanish of their own accord.

Conclusion

Meditation has changed my life and the lives of many others. Over time it will help you to reduce stress and anxiety as well as teaching you to deal with emotions and difficult times with more strength, resilience and patience. Give it a go but make sure you give it the time it needs. Persevere and don’t give up at the first obstacle that you encounter. Much like breaking the pain barrier when you run, it becomes a lot easier after the first spell.

Please let us know if you have tried meditation and whether or not it has helped you. And if you decide to try the 5×5 meditation plan please stop back often and let us know how your progress is going. Your example might really inspire someone else to give it a go.

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Note: This is a guest post from Bob Hartzell of Get Degrees

When I went to college, I was right out of high school, overwhelmed by the freedom and very quickly baffled by the academic expectations. Today’s college students are often much more mature, more experienced – and in many cases, returning to school to improve a life. More often than not, college students are working as well.

Whether you’re eighteen and new to it all or you’re back in the classroom to try and make academics work for you again, college can be rough water if you’re intimidated and/or pushing yourself with family/job/education. Here are some suggestions to maximize the value of your time spent in the academic fold:

1. Don’t let a pile of overpriced books and a quicker learning pace make you think you’re in over your head. It’s just a new environment.

2. No matter what the professors think, classes probably shouldn’t be optional. Look at it this way – until you’re sure you don’t need it, take advantage of all the help you can get.

3. Take notes you can read. If what you’re hearing is too much to process on any given day, find a classmate to bounce your questions off of. But don’t think you have to learn to be a court reporter overnight.

4. This might be counterintuitive or difficult as hell – but asking a few questions of the lecturer doesn’t hurt either. Give yourself a chance to feel like you have an investment in all that academic achievement as well – have a good conversation with someone who is opening up new intellectual doors for you can be an enormous boost. There’s more payback to those classes than credits and a grade.

5. All that reading isn’t insurmountable a chapter at a time. If you break it into manageable bites, you can get through it with a lot less indigestion – and learn more from it in the process. Besides, ignoring it will drive you crazy.

6. You have probably heard this during your previous fifteen years in school – but plan your studying. That’s not to blow a hole in your day, it’s so you won’t blow a hole in your semester. If you do it and stick with it, life gets easier.

7. Weekends may not always be for playing anymore. If you’re working and going to school, for sure they won’t be. Once again, the idea is to make school manageable, which makes it tolerable, which eventually may make it…really intriguing. You can build an afternoon on your bike or a few hours in front of a football game into any schedule if you hit the books when you have it pencilled in. Otherwise you’ll be trying to read a textbook during the beer commercials and not enjoying the game nor learning much either.

8. Always do a draft. As good as you are at slamming a paper together, do yourself the favor of time for a rough draft. Bang it out like it’s a first and final, but leave time to review it anyway. You’ll be amazed at how little adjustments can make a major improvement and once again, what was once anxiety and pressure becomes a manageable chore that may just become an achievement.

9. Now about those exams – they’re going to weigh on you no matter how well you’ve covered the material. The key to taking an exam with confidence is to do as thorough a review as you can and see at least seventy five percent of the material for at least the second time. There’s a difference between holing up for a final review and cramming.

10. Put your best into it and then consider college the art of the possible. If you’re going through the learning process with newly tested initiative and applying standards you’ve never held yourself to before, than you can call that a victory. If you get a little better at it the first few weeks or the first few semesters, there will come a day when you know you’re doing an efficient job. That’s all you can ask of yourself.

Don’t compare your insides to someone else’s outsides. It’s your college career, your major, your degree. Resumes aside, the value of an education is an intensely personal thing, so don’t demean it by thinking you should be some other kind of student. Every school experience opens up new horizons, but you won’t see them if you’ve got misguided expectations blocking your view.

Bob Hartzell is a freelance writer for Get Degrees®. They feature 100’s of online degree programs from accredited online colleges and universities worldwide.

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